The Moment Where Things Went Wrong

Story Submitted by Paige:

Alfred connected with me online and we arranged a dinner date.  We met outside the restaurant, and one of the first things he said was, "You look so beautiful.  Close your eyes."  I did.

He licked my lips.  I opened my eyes and slapped him away.

He fell to the sidewalk, as if I had actually hit him that hard.

"What the fuck?" he yelled, then stormed off.

Almost a week later, an e-mail arrived from him.  In it, he asked, "Where did we go wrong?" and said "I miss you so much."

Clearly, the guy was nuts, and I haven't spoken to him from that day to this.


  1. Licked your lips!?!

    Clearly this is YOUR fault for having your fly open and not wearing panties!

  2. Oh, Baku, this wasn't a set-up for A Bad Case of the Rapes. She closed her eyes, not got into a car with him blindfolded only to end up on the side of a road in Bumfuck.

    Honestly though, licking your lips was the least creepy/awful thing he could have done. He could have punched you in the tit or kneed you in the vag.

  3. ^ I was actually thinking of stuff that involved pulling a knife out of his pocket.

  4. My bad ... I thought it was her 'vaginal' lips...sheesh.
    Here's a coicidence, a friend just told me this joke:

    Q; What do you call the useless skin around a women's vagina?

    A: The woman!

    Don't shoot the messenger ladies!

  5. Poor naive Paige, thinking he's got a gift or something for you...

    Sigh, well, at least you learned.

  6. *stabs Howie*


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