The Bathroom Bandit

Story Submitted by Joseph:

For our first date, Erica and I arranged to meet at my place to spend a day out, visiting a museum, walking in the park, and enjoying the weather.

Forty minutes before our agreed-upon meeting time, I was about to jump in the shower when my phone rang.  It was Erica.  She informed me that she had arrived early.  I was in a bathrobe, but I let her in and set her up on my couch in the living room while I went into the bathroom.

I was in the middle of my shower when the door to the bathroom opened.  My shower doors are translucent and you can't see through them easily.  Nevertheless, I backed away from the shower doors and said, "Hey, yeah, I'll be right out."

She didn't seem to hear me or – what was weirder – even realize that I was in there, because the next thing I knew, from what I could tell through the shower doors, she dropped her pants and sat on my toilet.  Right there.  In front of me.

I slid the shower door open a crack and poked my head out.

"Uh, Erica?  Um..."

What could I say?  Did she honestly not realize that I was in there?  She didn't even turn to face me.

I didn't want to embarrass her, so I slid the shower door closed and kept an eye on her until she finished her business and left the bathroom without flushing.

I turned the shower off, dried myself, and flushed the toilet, repeating the scene in my head over and over.  Did that really just happen?

I dressed and returned to my living room.  She was gone, and my apartment door was open.  I looked around, called for her, dialed her phone, texted, and finally wrote her an e-mail.

To this day, she hasn't responded, and I have no idea what the hell the whole thing was about.


  1. At least she left you something by which to remember her.

  2. When you gotta go, you gotta go.

  3. Hope you checked your valuables were still there, you're pretty trusting with someone you just met!

  4. Culturedgoat is correct. She had an attack of the shits, and couldn't wait. Then, she was too embarassed to face you.

    She knew you were in the shower b/c she didn't flush and scald you (polite). Too bad she was too embarassed to face you (at least she didn't shit in your living room). That they poop is not a deal killer.

  5. OP never said she went poop? Did she OP? If so then I would have to agree with Luvmyreddog. She probably was way too embarassed so she left. If she only went pee then maybe she changed her mind but had to go to the bathroom and figured that she would go and then sneak out since you were in the shower. Who knows but I know it would make me wonder too.

  6. Reminds me of the Seinfield episode "Weekend in the Hamptons". Maybe she didn't like what she saw through the translucent doors.


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