Energy Efficient, But Dim

Sonia wrote to me first, over an online dating site.  She was 29 and made frequent usage of "u" for "you," "r" for "are," and "lol," much like I imagine a 13-year-old cousin would.

Repeated use of such phrases, while typically benign on the part of the user, do nothing for me except force me to make certain assumptions.  It's automatic.  Maybe it's a character flaw.  Regardless, if you use a phrase like, "How r u?  I 8 sum rabit last nite that my dad cawght.  lol," then you will likely not do my opinion of your intellect any favors.  I'm sure that you're a nice person, a compassionate person, and a caring person.  Lack of ability/willingness to to string an English sentence together, however, just doesn't do it for me.  Sorry.

As it turned out, Sonia's first message to me was, in fact, "How r u?  I 8 sum rabit last nite that my dad cawght.  lol."

There was more to the message than that, such as the information that said rabbit was sitting in a freezer since last hunting season, and that it was eaten because she was out of Cheerios.

I read her profile, and I was pleasantly surprised to see that a lot of her interests mirrored mine.  A potential girlfriend?  Probably not, but a new friend?  What's wrong with that?

I wrote her back, and after reading some of her own messages (verbatim: "i liek dogs 2, but i liek cats betters.  lol,"  "my favrit movie is dumbo," and "i never playd mase ball, but i liek watchin it is that wierd?  lol.") I decided that it was unfair for me to form an opinion based on what she had written alone.  What harm was there in meeting her?  As mentioned, making a new friend, at the very least, was always welcome.

On my way to the coffee place we had agreed upon, she called me.

She said, "Hey.  I might be a little late."

I asked, "Everything okay?"

She said, "It will be.  Give me an extra ten minutes?"

I wasn't worried.  That was the first time we had spoken over the phone, and she sounded perfectly capable of using the language.

After twenty minutes, she hadn't come by.  I called her up to ask if everything was okay.

She sounded frazzled.  "I don't know what to do," she said, "I'm stuck in my driveway."

"Your car won't start?" I asked.

"No.  I'm locked in."

Uh-oh.  I asked, "Is there anyone nearby who can help?"

"I don't know," she said.

I asked where she was, jumped into my car, and drove to her place, about five minutes away.

I walked up her driveway, and sure enough, she was in the driver's seat, fiddling with the power door switch.

"Hi," she said, "It's not working."

I tried the handle myself.  Yep.  Her door was locked, all right.  I asked, "Do the doors unlock manually?"

"What?"

"Did you try unlocking the door by pulling the lock up?"  I pointed to the lock pin, sticking up from the inner side of the door.  "Pull up on that."

She did.  Her door opened.  She covered her face with her hands.  "Oh my God," she said, "I'm embarrassed.  I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," I assured her, "It happens.  We can still go out."

She said, "I can't.  I forgot that I'm meeting up with some friends and I had that scheduled first.  I'm late for it.  Is that okay?"

"Oh.  When were you planning on telling me?"

"I just remembered.  This is embarrassing."

Off she went, and I have to be honest here, I was rather glad to let this one go.