Physical Education

Submitted by Justine:

Jeremy offered to take me out to lunch.  At the very beginning of the date, he told me that he was planning to pay for everything.  I thanked him.

When the waitress came by, he told her first and foremost that she hand him the check and not me as he (again) was "paying for everything."  She agreed to do as he said.  He smiled at me.  It was a little strange.  He had already made it clear that he was going to pay for lunch.  Now it seemed like he was doing me a favor.

As I looked over the menu, a third time he said, "Anything you want.  It's all on me."

"Okay.  Got it!" I said this time.  He smiled.  It was a weird smile, like he thought I was four years old.

During the meal, as we talked, he'd reach across the table to touch me, but not conversationally.  What I mean is, he'd go out of his way to do it.  It was obvious and made me more and more uncomfortable.  I even leaned back in my seat once and he tried to reach for me, but couldn't.  He then asked me if I'd lean in closer!  Aaah!

After lunch, we took a walk around the block.  He walked a little too close to me for comfort, and I edged away as subtly as I could.

Finally, he stopped walking and faced me.  "What's your problem?" he asked.

"What?" I asked back.

"It's like you don't even want to be around me!  Every time I try getting close to you.  I'm sick of it!  Either you want to be near me or you don't.  Which will it be?"

I said, "Can you calm down?  This is a first date, and I want to take things slow."

He shook his head and smiled.  "You can start by standing next to me," he said, then grabbed my arm and pulled me closer to him.

That was enough.  I slapped him, open palm, full in the face.  You don't grab someone and tell them what to do.  He let me go and I stormed away.  I'm sure he saw me shaking, but I didn't care.  Where did this guy come off, trying to touch me at every opportunity?

I Googled him just last week.  You guessed it.  He's married.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. you really dodged a bullet there!!!!!!!11

  3. Didn't get the "you guessed it, he's married" part either. I guess the OP has issues with marriage??!!

  4. he grabbed your arm, so instead of pulling it away, you turned and smacked him in the face? As Chris Rock once said "I would never hit a girl, but I would shake the shit out of one."

    OP, I would shake the shit out of you.

  5. The overt "doing me a favor" attitude and the directing her where to stand/how to walk gave me the impression that this was an abuser. Thus, marriage to me stands to reason, as abusers look for quick legal binds so their victims can't get away.

    That said, you go OP for smacking someone who repeatedly touched you when you made it clear you didn't want to be.

  6. why didn't you tell him at the restaurant you felt uncomfortable instead of being passive aggressive about it? Yes he was a douche, but you didn't speak up until you finally snapped.

  7. Won't you come on up closer?
    Close enough so I can smell you?

  8. Damn, I'm glad I grew out of the whole "if someone makes you uncomfortable, become violent with them" thing after my teenage years. It's too bad you didn't. I hope one day a man breaks your nose for wrapping your arm in his.

  9. From Lucy 12:25 --"That said, you go OP for smacking someone who repeatedly touched you when you made it clear you didn't want to be."

    I agree. And I'm a guy. I'm sure she didn't hurt him, but the message had to come through loud and clear.

    Despite that we live in a Facebook/ Twitter/ Internet Dating world where people casually 'hook-up', NO still means NO.

    The married part means he lied to her and was married at the time of the date.


  10. ^ It's true. I like to slap my wife across the face when the bitch won't bring me a sandwich. It doesn't hurt her, but boy does it get the message across.

  11. T.D./2:29 - Yes, simpleton, we understood that the "he was married" part meant "he was married at the time of the date." What 11:48 and I were saying was that we didn't understand how she got "he was a cheating bastard" from "he kept touching me when I didn't tell him not to but rather just kept standing far away from him and hoping he'd get it until I finally slapped the shit outta him." It's not a common logical link.

  12. Oh, and 3:38 - Don't read comments on this blog. Find some magical way with your RSS feed where you aren't forced to scroll all the way down at the end of the story and have your eyes scan over the comments and have your brain turn the letters into words and sentences and hate speech.

    Half the fun of this blog is being an obnoxious commenter. If you don't like it...SHOCKING IDEA ALERT!!!!...DON'T READ IT.

  13. I don't get why some of the earlier commenters are so upset that she slapped him. A kick in the groin would have been more appropriate. He got off lightly.

  14. Yeah, no. I was guessing he was arrested for something, like rubbing it on someone's leg. A good shove and a yell is in order, but I don't know about the slap. A little much. Now that we know he was married, it's a wash.

    @3:38 Now you're starting to annoy me. Go read a blog with pictures of babies kissing kittens and bunnies dressed like cows. Knob.

  15. Oh, men of ABCotD. You remind us all once more of why you're single. A woman repeatedly made attempts to demonstrate through pulling away and putting physical distance between herself and her date that she was uncomfortable with the level of physical contact. When asked point blank, she told her date that she wanted things to slow down. When her date continued to disrespect her wishes and attempting to physically force her into contact with him, she slapped him. And you all are criticizing her for it. Well done. Hope the Left Handed Stranger is enough to get you through those tough nights.

  16. if you "subtly" put distance between someone and "lean back once" that's not showing clear signs you are uncomfortable. I'm not saying the guy was Mr. Wonderful, just that he didn't know she felt that way. Which is evidenced by the fact that he asked what was wrong long into the date (and why did she go for a walk if she was THAT uncomfortable and if she thought he was inappropriate ). A grown woman should have learned by now to use her words instead of acting like a child and freaking out when things don't magically end up how they wanted.

  17. 8:35, god I hope your boyfriend beats you.

  18. 8:48 - Completely ignoring the fact that he again tried to become physical after she *did* "use her words" to let him know that she wasn't comfortable with how fast he was moving. Victim-blaming is an ugly look, no matter how you dress it up.

  19. I think it'd be fine if he decided to slap her back.

  20. "I hope one day a man breaks your nose for wrapping your arm in his." Anon 12:58

    I second this


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