Why Malls Are Full of Good Hiding Spots

Submitted by Andi:

I noticed this guy, Eric, at a local ice cream shop.  He was sitting with a friend playing Magic: The Gathering, which I thought was really cute since I'm a nerd, too. My friend gave him my number since I was waaay to shy to do so.

That night, Eric called me, we talked for a little bit, and he seemed really sweet.  Later that week, a couple of friends and I planned on going to a pizza place to celebrate our friend Derek's birthday, so I asked Eric to join me.

He was really excited and he met me there. I gave him a hug and I introduced him to everyone. We walked off and talked for a while and he tried to kiss me. I backed off and mentioned nicely that I wasn't ready to kiss him as I hardly knew him.

He started crying and took off! I felt bad that I hurt his feelings, but seriously this man was 23 years old! He came back after 20 minutes, gave me his necklace, forced his mouth on mine, and whispered, "My penis is 8 inches."

This happened too fast.  I freaked and asked him to leave.  He stayed away from me and my friends after that, but he continued to stare at me. My friends and I eventually left.  He called me non-stop and I didn't answer.

The following week I went to the mall with my friend Maggie.  As we were walking around, she told me, "Oh my god!  Look, it's that crazy guy!"

I saw Eric, and walked the other way.  Of course, he saw me and yelled, "Andi! Why won't you answer when I call? Why won't you talk to me?"

Everyone turned to look at me. I was so embarassed! I ran into Macy's and hid for about 20 minutes. I figured that he must have given up, so I came out of hiding and then I hear, "Andi, what the fuck is your problem? I just want to be with you! Why won't you fucking answer your god damn phone you bitch? Can't you see I'm in love with you?"

I started crying out of sheer embarassment. Eric then left on his own. I was scared he was going to get violent since he had mentioned that he had been in a few fights. A few people in the store came to check on me, but my god I was terrified. I never spoke to him again but he would still try calling me.


  1. Where to begin...

  2. And this is why you don't go out with guys you meet at the mall. (I made the same mistake too when I was a teenager.)

    (You...you *are* a teenager, right? You just like older guys?)

  3. Oh...my...God.
    There...there just aren't words.
    You, my dear, need a taser. Or pepper spray. Or...something.

  4. It's probably 4 inches.
    I can't believe he was 23 and doing this. That would have been immature at 15 but at 23, it's shocking. What is up with little boys who won't grow up? Do they enjoy being losers? I guess someone has to pump my gas and serve me french fries...


  6. Guys.....HE WAS PLAYING MAGIC THE GATHERING. Nothing about this shocks me the guy probably just went from lesson 1 of social development, skipped all the shit you learn in adolescence and went directly to stage 10 in about an hour.

    I mean Jesus even amongst nerds magic isn't cool anymore. Don't date guys at the mall? how about don't date guys playing 1980's fantasy card games at 23.

  7. Ash Catch-em-all2/22/2010 12:22 PM

    Everyone knows Pokemon cards are way cooler. DUH.

  8. Good point 11:58. Let's be honest and say that not many 23 year olds play magic. That's a huge red flag. Did the OP meet this guy in the 1980s? 11:56 you spelled loser wrong. FAIL.

  9. He may play magic, but who has a birthday at a pizza place? I haven't been to one of those since damn well before I even discovered alcohol. They seem to be on even playing fields in maturity. Hiding as opposed to alerting security and all.

  10. 12:38, have some class. Don't say fail. Or epic. Or win. This isn't /b/.

  11. The title of this should be 'I was almost raped at Chuck E Cheese's'

    and you made each other cry, can't you see you are meant for each other?

  12. oh yea i forgot to mention that when this happened i was 17 and he was 23. im 22 now. i will never forget that day!

  13. You had to have that episode with him in order to toughen up your spine. Don't start bawling when a psycho harasses you. Get control of the situation, get the f**k away with your head intact.


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