The Community Theater Diva

Submitted by Eric:

Ella invited me to hear her sing at a community theater talent show last summer.  We went inside and took our seats, as they were planning to call performers up one at a time to perform.

I looked through the program and didn't see Ella's name.  I asked her when she was going on and she said that she didn't know, but that she had talked things over the the woman who was running it, so it would all be fine.

Well, we waited two hours and sat through a whole bunch of acts, including one guy who claimed that his dog could do some amazing stuff but just ended up pissing itself onstage, and a woman who tried to do a handstand but ended up cracking something that shouldn't have cracked.

Then the show ended.  Ella was mad.  She went backstage to yell at the woman who ran the show, but the woman was gone.  Ella said that she was so angry that she would wait until the woman came back, but the ushers told Ella that the woman wouldn't be back until the next performance season.  Ella stomped out of the theater and drove away without a word to me.  I brought my own car there, so I was able to get home, but still.  I felt bad for her, but she could've handled it better.


  1. Bright side: At least you didn't have to listen to her sing.

  2. How is this a bad date? C'mon...either you don't date much or you just wanted to post something. Yawn.

  3. It's a bad date because it didn't go as planned, because she freaked the hell out and acted childish, and because she DITCHED HIM without a word at the end of it. Sorry no one was maimed or had a nervous breakdown. Sheesh.

  4. I would pay to see that crackling handstand.

  5. You probably didn't miss much. My experience in seeing community theater is that part of the reason why it is so amusing is because many of the performances aren't exactly up to broadway standards. It's like watching the tryout episodes of American Idol. She was taking it all waaay too seriously.

    1. Depends on the community theater. There are some
      "community" theater companies that are really semiprofessional, or that attract people who *could* have gone pro if they'd wanted to. Their productions tend to be as good as many professional ones.

  6. Up until the ditching-you part, it could actually have been kind of a fun evening. But Anon 12:08 is on the right track; what if you had fallen in love and gotten married, and had to spend the rest of your life going to community theater performances? You're far better off this way.

  7. @2:38...

    or worse, he could have married her and spent the rest of his life listening to her tell him and everyone they know the story of how she got screwed out of singing at the community theatre. kind of the complete opposite of that chick that was in joseph and the raincoat.


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