Coffee Shop Catastrophe

Submitted by Roy:

Kim and I made plans to meet up at a small coffee place and then do dinner, if things seemed to go well.  Over the phone, I was very specific: "I'm wearing a brown shirt.  Meet you inside the place."

Fifteen minutes after our arranged meeting time, she wasn't inside.  I called her phone.  No answer.  I waited five minutes, called her phone again.

"Hey, what's up?" she asked.

I replied, "I'm inside.  Are you on your way?"

Silence.  Then, "Inside?  You're–oh!  I'm meeting you inside?  I've been rocking out in my car."

Maybe I hadn't been clear enough, but no matter.  Mistakes happen, and bottom line, she ended up inside with me.  I went up with her to the counter, intending to pay for whatever she wanted.

It was our turn in line, and the barista asked us what we wanted.  I turned to Kim, who instructed me to go first.  I did, then turned back to her.

She sort of crumpled slightly and said that she didn't do well under pressure.  I suggested that I order something for her to see if she'd like it, and she shook her head.  "Well, what do you want, then?" I asked.

She shook her head again without answering, like she was a 6-year-old.  I turned back to the barista and paid for my drink, then sat down with Kim.

"If you want something, then let me know," I said.

She frowned at me and said, "You didn't give me a chance up there.  I do want something."

I definitely recall asking her what she wanted, and her response being that she didn't do well with pressure.  So I said, "Now that we're not on line anymore and there's less pressure, what can I get you?"

She hissed, "Don't you patronize me!  I'll walk out of here so fast–"

"I wasn't patronizing you!  I just want to get you something if you're thirsty.  What can I get you?"

She stood up.  "Goodbye," she said, and walked out.

Did I do something wrong here?  Or was she a bona fide Brazil nut?


  1. Sounds like she was stoned.

  2. She was a waste of effort. Better luck next time.

  3. I'm still trying to figure out how she expected to find you while "rocking out" in her car. Were you supposed to spontaneously appear on the hood?

  4. maybe it was how you said it. maybe you were too abrupt or sounded condescending and she reasonably interpreted it different than how you believe it went.

  5. I don't think she was into you dude. She just didn't have the guts to say so and acted like an ass until she could make her getaway. Better luck next time.

  6. I gotta say you were in the clear here, assuming it happened the way you said. Some people just aren't worth the effort.

  7. She sounds insecure about herself and was projecting her own perceived flaws into your interaction with each other.

    In short, shes missing a few screws.

  8. I don't understand all of the responses on here that say: "He/she just wasn't into you, and so they acted retarded/made a scene/etc. just to get out of the date."

    No one does that. And if anyone is that much of a spineless, passive aggressive little bitch, they're probably not dating.

  9. I agree on the stoned thing. Ordering food can be so difficult sometimes. And the pressure can get to be unbearable.


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