12/08/2009

Watch Out Boy, She'll Chew You Up

Submitted by Mark:

I met Brenda online, and I eventually asked her if she wanted to hang out with me and she agreed for me to meet her at her place.

She invited me inside her apartment, and once inside I felt as if Welcome to the Jungle should've been playing, as there were pictures of tigers everywhere.  I thought it was a little much and went to sit down on the sofa ... which was covered with a blanket with a tiger on it.

While talking to her she showed me pictures of her family, but then all of a sudden she showed me a picture of some guy and said, "This is David."

"Who?"

She rolled her eyes and said, "David, my ex." I remembered her mentioning him once before, but I had no idea why she was showing me his picture.

She then showed me pictures of guys she had met online.  She said, "They want to get with me but I don't want to see them."

It was getting late and I was getting tired of looking at tigers and men that wanted her, so I was about to tell her I was going to leave when she said, "I have a really cool drawing but it's in my room and it's a mess."

I agreed to look at it.  We entered her bedroom and I beheld the drawing hanging above her bed like a mantlepiece.  It was a horse being attacked by what looked like a miniature lion with Down's Syndrome.

Trying not to explode in laughter, I turned around to leave the room.  She was not even a foot from me and wore the smirk of an evil clown. She asked, "Do you like it?"

I smiled and said, "It's great, but I have to go."

In the following days, she called and texted me, but I couldn't get the picture of the ugly lion out of my head.  It still haunts me today.

16 comments:

  1. Tigers a lion cheetah... !
    Oh, I thought this site was 'a bad case of the Woods'. My bad

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  2. What? The girl invites you into her room and you leave? Tigers or not, you should have slept with her.

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  3. 8:12 is right

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  4. ^ ^ This and this. Go back to your online personals and change your preferences to "men seeking men."

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  5. "I have a really cool drawing but it's in my room..."

    Good lord man turn in your straight guy card. Talk about oblivious!

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  6. I'm a girl, and I'm not trying to sound condescending or anything. Like Mark, when I read that she'd invited him to her room to look at the drawing, I actually thought that she wanted to show it to him, and that's all.

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  7. Mark has a bad case of teh gheys.

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  8. lol @ 11:42!

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  9. @ 11:36 you must be a blonde.

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  10. I think that ugly lion was supposed to be a tiger... just a guess.

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  11. I don't blame Mark for not having sex with her. I'd have a hard time getting a boner after spending a night looking at tigers, ex-boyfriends, non-boyfriends, and retarded lions eating horses.

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  12. @9:14, you must be a date rapist. Women aren't always trying to sleep with guys, not even in their rooms.
    She just wanted him to tell her what a great artist she is.

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  13. Are you guys serious? I am actually insulted to be the same sex as you right now.

    The man had no reason to want to sleep with her besides the fact that she was willing.

    I understand that men are considered usually more "ready" to jump into bed than woman are, however, this girl creeped Mark out.

    Along with the fact that on Mark seeing the picture he was probably instantly turned off, she was full of herself for constantly showing him "guys that would never get her."

    IMO that wasn't a "teh gheys" move on Marks part at all.

    You gentlemen are the negative sterotype that give us a bad name.

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  14. @6:30, come on!! she told him over and over that he was the one she wanted, above all the rest.
    then she drags him into her bedroom? her sanctuary?
    a woman's bedroom is her nest, she felt so comfortable with him she brought invited him into her most intimate setting, asked for his approval, and did everything but ask him to take his clothes off.
    hammertime LOL
    @10;54 you nailed it.

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  15. 6:30 should contact the site admin. Maybe he could hook you and Mark up on a hot date, sans tigers.

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  16. @12:02 I am in no way saying that she wasn't obviously into him. If you read my comment carefully I point out that just because she was making it obvious she wanted him does not mean he should accept if he thinks the girl is weird or insane.

    @9:22 Sorry, I'm not into guys. You'll just have to get your voyeuristic fantasies fulfilled somewhere else.

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