A Piercing Pizza Adventure

Submitted by Lila:

Richard approached me in a coffee shop and asked me out. I'm a little on the shy side and don't usually agree to go out with complete strangers, but he seemed nice, so I agreed. We decided to meet back at the same coffee shop, but as soon as I arrived, he asked, "Where do you want to go?"

I had assumed we would just get some coffee and get to know each other, and tried to explain as much, but he excitedly said that he had a better idea. When I asked what he had in mind, he said it would be a surprise.

We got in his car (yes, I know how ridiculously stupid I was for taking a ride with a stranger) and drove for almost 45 minutes before parking in front of a tattoo and piercing shop in a bad part of town.

"This is where we're going?" I asked, feeling increasingly nervous about his plans for the evening.

"Yeah! I'm going to get my tongue pierced. Isn't that sexy?"

I know that some people adore piercings, but I'm not one of them. I politely told him that I didn't really want to watch him have his tongue impaled with a piece of metal and suggested that maybe we could just go get dinner.

"No!" He said happily, "This is going to be great. Anyway, since you agreed to have sex with me, this will make it better!"

I had never even mentioned sex to him, much less agreed that we do it, so I just tagged along behind him mutely, completely confused, as he raced inside.

After he got his tongue pierced, he offered to take me out for pizza as if he was doing me some huge favor. As he seemed to be in tremendous pain, I asked if he was actually able to eat. He assured me that he'd be fine.

After our food arrived, he began eating as if he hadn't had food in months, but his tongue was clearly causing him pain. I suggested that maybe he should get a milkshake instead of pizza and he shot me an angry glare. I decided to quit offering advice.

When he finally started crying over the pain, I excused myself and called a friend to pick me up and take me home. When I told him I was leaving, he said that it was fine with him as his girlfriend would be expecting him home soon.


  1. You are very, very, very dumb.

  2. The guy sounds retarded as well; give him another chance, you could be made for each other!

  3. I agree. Give him another chance. What will he pierce next time? Maybe his entire head?

  4. Wooooooooooooooooooooow.

  5. Wow that could have ended very badly! Don't get into cars with strangers unless you want your face all over CNN!

  6. Bad judgment leads to bad date.

  7. some dates are just worth it for the stories. this was a great one!

  8. "... so I just tagged along mutely"

    (Also, why doesn't this page follow the normal conventions of online text boxes; i.e. copying, pasting, use of arrow keys?)

  9. Are you related to Elizabeth Smart by chance?

  10. D'oh!

    He sounded like a winner- bet you want to go back out with him.

  11. That is unfortanate. You sound like anice person that couldn't say no, but not too smart to get in his car.


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