12/13/2016

A Pile of Regrets

Story Sent in by Nancy:

Patrick couldn't wait to take me out. His second message, after I replied to his first, was some variance of, "Are you free tomorrow?"

Instead we made plans to meet that weekend. He took me out to a nice cafe and asked me if I was ready to have a "pile of babies."

I said, "Not just yet. What's your timeframe?"

He said, "Ideally, I'd impregnate you today. Or tonight. But no later.

I said, "I'm sorry. That doesn't fit with my life plans."

He said, "I'll pay you. I'll pay for lunch."

While the offer of a single paid lunch was such a generous exchange for a "pile of babies," I had to turn him down. We departed amicably enough but I can't imagine he'll meet with much success on his quest.

7 comments:

  1. A pile of regrets + a pile of babies = a pile of dirty diapers far beyond the eye can see.Op dodged shit creek for sure.Is it just me or does this situation remind me of the"Species" movies but with the alien using the'free meal" approach?'Species 4:The Baby Mama Seduction".

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, I call it! New band name: Pile of Babies

    Somehow I get the feeling that OP's date wasn't planning on sticking around to be a "father figure" to his pile of moronic offspring.

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  3. I guess he can tell she was ovulating by her profile?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's actually one of my hidden talents...

      Delete
  4. It's like *this* big. How many diapers could it possibly use? - An idiot

    ReplyDelete
  5. The guy needs biology lessons... Those apps telling you when is the best time to conceive only apply to women!

    ReplyDelete

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