7/21/2016

Just Like a Country Boy

Story Sent in by Carlene:

Dave took me out for a walk and dinner. During the first few minutes of our stroll he stooped and picked a blade of grass. He put it in his mouth and said, "Look! I'm from the country!"

He received a light laugh out of me. Okay. Funny... ish.

But he kept it in his mouth and asked, "You like 'dem country boys?"

I said, "Not really."

We went on talking about other things but he kept the blade of grass sticking out of his mouth. All through the walk, all through dinner (he put it aside on the table when the food arrived but it went right back into his mouth when he was done eating), and afterward.

I thought about pointing it out as rude and gross but I didn't think it would help.

After dinner we returned outside and he said, "Are you ready for the ceremonial transferring of the grass from my mouth to yours?"

I guessed that the whole grass thing was his lead up to wanting a kiss. We were in New York City, so that grass had probably been peed on by about a thousand dogs that day, alone. I declined his offer to "consummate the ritual" and we went our separate ways.

8 comments:

  1. I'd have pointed out that point about the grass being bathed in piss at least.

    ReplyDelete
  2. We are but a moment's sunlight, fading in the grass...

    And all OP thinks about is dog pee. Simple thoughts for simple people.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I thought the grass thing wasn't so bad, just a little goofy until the last paragraph. Then I was done.

    Also, "country boys" chew on a piece of straw or wheat, not a blade of urine soaked grass.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. THANK YOU. but they're in new York city, so if he's never been to the south he wouldn't know that. He should get himself checked for parasites after having that in his mouth

      Delete
    2. You should always be weary of guys, country or not, putting random sticks in their mouths.
      https://youtu.be/KyP1WTrwLxA?t=389

      Delete
  4. I hate when dates have a gimmick to get action and cannot break from it ecause they know no other way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is my beef. Like adapt to the situation man -- maybe listen to her and treat her like a person and see how that goes.

      Delete
    2. Yeah, agreed. I bet the delivery of that lame line was all he could think about during dinner. What a dull conversation they must have had !

      Delete

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.