6/03/2016

Has it Been Consummated?

Story Sent in by Natalia:

Every one of Bill’s profile photos was of him in or alongside a black Porsche. We met up at a bar and he told me, “If you’re one of those women who want me to decide between my Porsche and you, you’re not gonna like my answer.”

I asked him, “Women usually want you to decide?”

He said, “It’s a marriage. The Porsche and I, together forever. If a woman comes into my life then she has to know she’ll be number two or three on the list.”

I said, “Wow. That’s… really, really stupid.”

He finished most of his drink in one gulp, threw $20 on the table, said, “Nice knowing you. Back to my beautiful bride,” and left, just like that!

22 comments:

  1. OP calls the guy stupid and is surprised to see him leaving?

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    Replies
    1. Do you have a better adjective?

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    2. Stupid is a perfectly suited adjective. It's just that I wonder why OP is surprised by his reaction. Surely he wasn't going to say "oh, thanks for this revelation, until now I never saw the errors of my way..." In OP's shoes though, I'm sure I would have been more polite... Saying something along the line "I hope the best for both of you, but I'm sorry, I wouldn't want to interfere with the strong relation you two have and upset this delicate balance. Therefore, you'll excuse me but I will leave now, YOU FUCKING BRAIN DEAD RETARD! Oops, did I say this outloud... just a Freudian slip. Sorry, bye!" and left before he did!

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  2. The guy is a major @$$hat

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  3. Replies
    1. What's the difference between a Porsche and a porcupine?

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    2. With a precupine, the pricks are on the outside :)

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    3. Er, um...porcupine. I can spell, really.

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    4. What do a Porsche and a vacuum cleaner have in common?

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    5. They both come with their own dirt bag.

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  4. Haha, this guy made me laugh. Boys and their toys, am I right?

    I would have tested him by stating "Hum, that sounds fair. Of course, you don't mind being number 3 on my list of priorities after my dog and the Mass Effect trilogies, do you? I imagine that would be agreeable!

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    Replies
    1. That would have been a suitable response, as I'm pretty sure he was just semi-joking to begin with.

      Although, Fallout > Mass Effect.

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    2. Um, no. The only acceptable games to place above Mass Effect are Deus Ex and maybe Vampire: Bloodlines.

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    3. I'm a Metal Gear Solid kind of guy myself.

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    4. You're all wrong. Shadow of the Colossus is the only master you will ever know.

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    5. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    6. It's been a few days, but I can't let this go unsaid.
      You all clearly need a fresh run through of Mass Effect. I can't even believe it's up for debate. :P Psssshhhh...

      "Wow that's... really, really stupid" - The marking point in which she gives up on this guy.
      Honestly it can't really hurt to say what you're thinking at this point. I say kudos.

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  5. Well, at least he was honest and didn't waste her time.

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  6. ...and the road becomes my bride

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  7. She just called someone she just met "really stupid". Which in my opinion, not necessary. Dude, he wasnt hurting you in any way, he was just stating his 'preference in life'. You dont like that, you could just left without insulting him. smh

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