12/22/2015

Hey, This Fork Tastes Funny

Story Sent in by Felicia:

It was pretty easy to tell that Nolan had an ass problem. Oh, he tried to hide it but all the while during our date at a cafe, he squirmed back and forth and scratched at his rear when he thought I wasn't looking. Class.

He finally excused himself to use the bathroom and when he came back the problem seemed to have ceased. I was relieved but still a little grossed out.

But after several minutes, he was at it again. He even slipped his fork off the table and scratched at himself with it!

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

"Fine. Why?"

"You've been scratching a lot. Maybe you're allergic to something?"

He looked at me like he was really shocked that I realized he had been scratching himself for most of the time we had been out together. He stood up, threw some money on the table, and said, "Yeah. You, apparently," and he took off, just like that. I understand that he might've been embarrassed, but surely there was a better way to handle that?

5 comments:

  1. Nolan then went home, grabbed a large serving-fork from the kitchen, popped in a VHS of the HBO Special Presentation of Chunky Horse, and had the time of his life...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ahahahahaha... stick around, Steve. You've been missed.

      Delete
    2. Awww, thanks Jared! <3

      Delete
  2. Yeah, there was a better way to handle that. You could have continued to politely ignore it and not call the man out for having some hemorrhoids.

    Did he say ""Bye Felicia" as he left?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When someone takes the silverware off the table to scratch themselves, they have crossed the "politely ignore" threshold.

      Delete

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.