3/18/2015

Butt How?

(While ABCotD is usually about broken hearts of a different kind, my dear friend Kyla just had surgery for dilated cardiomyopathy. She's 18, a writer, a photographer, a poet, and an amazing human being. Please click here to help her out. Anything helps. Anything. Thank you! -JMG)


Story Sent in by Rosalie:

In a college study group, I met Kurt. We hit it off and he asked me out to dinner one Friday night. Drinks were had, tales were told, kisses were traded, driving was... impossible, so he asked if he could crash at my place, which was nearby.

Despite how close we had become in a few short hours, I still had at least a little bit of pride. He was cool crashing on the couch and I gave him pillows and blankets.

Before bed, he went to the bathroom. I have only one, and so I planned to go in there to ready for bed right after he was done.

But Kurt was in there for a while. A long while. A while far longer than any man or beast should need a bathroom. I knocked and asked him if everything was okay.

He said, "I can use a little help, actually. Do you mind?"

I opened the bathroom door and instantly wished that I hadn't.

He was buck naked and his hairy, pimply ass was sticking up in the air. He explained, "I dropped a contact lens in my ass."

I screamed some expletive and shut the door between us. "Put some clothes on!" I said.

He replied, "Oh, you're one of those. Hang on."

After a few moments he said, "A-ha! Found it."

He emerged from the bathroom mostly clothed and I went in to do my business and finally went to bed.

In the morning I woke to find him gone. He didn't contact me and so I guessed that was that.

But I did see him at the next study group and I joked with him, "Lost any contacts recently?"

He gave me a weird look and said, "I don't wear contacts. Sorry." He hurried out. I didn't bring up the subject with him again, and we never went out a second time.

2 comments:

  1. He went for "The Naked Man" (which we all know works 2 out of 3 times) but he made the classic faux pas of giving you the ass instead of the full frontal. No one wants to see a hairy pimply ass, or so my wife keeps telling me.

    ReplyDelete
  2. They don't have cabs in your country?

    ReplyDelete

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