6/22/2014

#FirstWorldDinners

Story Sent in by Carol:

When John asked me out to dinner, I was expecting a restaurant or something similar. The address he gave me was to a convenience store. We walked in together and he told me, "Pick out anything you want."

Wow. Thanks. There were dollar cereals, cans of beans, and chocolate bars. I was hungry so I didn't put up a fuss. I grabbed a couple of things and walked over to him. "Are we doing a picnic?" I asked, hopefully.

He said, "Absolutely. Here, give me those." He took my things from me, combined them with his own acquisitions, and made for the door. He wasn't even going to pay for them!

I looked around for the clerk. He was behind the counter, helping out another customer. John could've totally made off with it all, scot-free. But I stayed where I was as John left. Through the glass doors, he beckoned to me to follow him. I didn't budge. He put the stuff down by the curb and came back in.

"What's wrong?" he asked, "Did you forget something?"

I said, "I don't want you to steal that stuff. We'll pay for it."

He said, "It's a giant corporation. We're doing the world a favor. Come on."

"No. You're stealing. Come on and let's pay for it."

He groaned, shouldered past me, made for the beverage case, and took out a Gatorade. He opened it and started to drink it. He made past me and returned outside.

Through the doors, I could see he was upset about something. When I joined him outside, I found that all of the food he had stolen was gone from the curb. Someone had stolen it from him when he had returned inside, and all he had was his Gatorade.

John said, "Let's go back in to grab more, then."

I said, "If you do that, I'm telling the clerk."

John said, "You know what? The hell with this," and he left me there.

I wasn't alone, though. I still had my morality intact.

4 comments:

  1. You should have just told the clerk right at the get-go. To hell with the date!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Morality ain't gonna get you laid, honey...

    ReplyDelete
  3. ^ He could have stolen her EVS.

    Second date, he robs your apartment. People get too hung up on "owning stuff". He was doing you a favor.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Jean Valjean he ain't.

    But then, standing by and saying nothing to the clerk doesn't make you as sinless and you presume, either.

    You two crazy kids should have sex on some trash...(I'll let Steve take it from here).

    ReplyDelete

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