11/07/2013

Apartmental Complex

Story Sent in by Jim:

I was over at Deena's apartment. We had ordered in and planned to watch a movie. She asked what I was in the mood to watch and I told her a western.

She said she didn't have any westerns so I told her a comedy. She said she didn't have any comedies. I asked her if she had any sci-fi. Nope. Fantasy. Nope. Classic films. Nope. Newer films?

"I have this one!" she said as she pulled out a DVD of Jerry Maguire with Tom Cruise. "This is the only movie I can find. Let's watch it."

I wanted to do nothing of the sort, but I didn't plan on watching the film all the way through if you know what I mean. However, after she popped in the DVD, she sat about as far away from me on the couch as she could.

The DVD didn't play. She took it out, blew on it, and replaced it in the player. That's when I noticed that she had actually put it in upside-down.

"You're putting it in upside-down," I told her.

She then ejected it again and handed it to me. "You do it," she said, "I've never been good at this stuff."

I put the DVD in the right way and it played. After five minutes of the film she left the couch and set up a folding chair in a further-away doorway. She sat in it and I asked her, "What's wrong with the couch?"

She said that she was fine where she was. I didn't want to sit there and watch Tom Cruise and have nothing to show for it, so I told her I had an early thing the next morning and I headed for the door.

She stood up and grabbed her folding chair as I went. She followed me out of her apartment with it, down the hall, down the stairs, and out the front door. I thought that maybe she was checking to make sure that I made it to my car safely (it was a safe neighborhood). As I walked over to my car she set up her folding chair on the front lawn of her complex and sat in it to watch me climb into my car and drive away. We didn't hang out again.

5 comments:

  1. Awe man, I thought for sure that DVD would turn out to be the cult classic Chunky Horse!

    Hey OP, that will teach you to wear deodorant next time. Your BO was so powerful, she had to get a folding chair.

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  2. OP, as somebody who once watched Twilight to have great sex... I feel your pain. Having to watch Jerry Maguire is a harrowing experience that only a sick freak would want to inflict upon somebody that she was dating, and the fact that she didn't even make out with you despite subjecting you to such torture clearly indicates a sociopathic lack of all human empathy and compassion. Kudos to you for leaving - you really dodged a bullet there.

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  3. Twilight, Wolfie? That's some serious commitment, man.

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  4. In my defense, the lady was REALLY attractive and fun, and the effort did pay dividends. I honestly don't know what I would have done if I watched it and had the experience that the OP did. Cried and soiled myself, most likely. :'-(

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  5. I would never make a guy watch Twilight. Or the Notebook for that matter. I would probably make him watch Coming to America but that's as far as it goes... And I'm all abouts checking out the holes. And for some reason...folding chairs get all the dates. ;)

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