3/31/2013

Winter Is Coming

Story Sent in by Larry:

Mary was a free spirit I dated a few years ago. It was after dinner on the evening our first date when we ended up in a neighborhood playground. There were two kids playing in a sandbox, but Mary chased them out, flapped her arms, screamed, and made their parents uncomfortable enough to not put up a fight.

Mary then lay on her back in the sandbox and made a sand-angel. She was exuberant, and sand flew everywhere.

She informed me, "No one makes better snow angels than I do." She leaped out of the sandbox and we both admired her handiwork. It looked as you're probably imagining.

"The key trick is with the head," she explained, "No one ever moves it around too much, and you have to move it for the full effect. You try."

She kicked sand around and erased her opus. I climbed into the sandbox and lay on my back.

"Try it on your stomach," she suggested, "You'll be amazed at how different it comes out."

I wasn't wearing anything that couldn't be washed, so I lay down prone on the sand and made my sand angel. As I did so, she grabbed a handful of sand and threw it at the side of my head, some landing right in my eye.

"Ow," I said, then rolled over and stood up, trying my best to blink the sand out from under my eyelid. "Why would you do that?"

"Oh, it's just like snow. Gotta love me!"

"Snow doesn't sting when it hits your eye."

She yelled, half-hysterical, "I'm just trying to have fun! Stop persecuting me!"

She looked like she really was about to cry, so I did everything I could to diffuse the situation, calm her, and bring the date to an end. We didn't have a second date.

10 comments:

  1. Honesty, its not a hard leap to see how a grown woman who runs children out of a sandbox (if it were my kids, I would have said something) that she would throw sand in your face. She's obviously lacking for intelligence or maturity. Good for the OP for just bringing things to a close and move on. I do homwever liked sometimes how "free spirit" sometimes translate into antisocial or generally weird behavior.

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  2. The key to winning Game of Thrones-kill your enemies and win the goodwill of the regular people. :)!!!!

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  3. OP, Not good for you. Really, you stayed after she showed such bad behavior towards children? You were okay with that? Mmmmk.

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  4. Because nothing is more attractive than a grown woman terrorizing children. Riiiiight. . .

    Good thing she showed her crazy early on, but OP, you stuck around too long!

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  5. LOOK HOW KOOKY AND INTERESTING I AM. I'M A FREE SPIRIT, STOP PERSECUTING ME WITH YOUR 'SOCIAL RULES'.

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  6. Further proof that SexyPixieFairyGirls (Zooey Deschanel) don't really exist. What they really are are crazy schitzo lunatics that like to make "snow angles" in a sand box/giant cat and child litter box.

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  7. "Gotta love me!"

    Pretty much a guarantee of the opposite, I think.

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  8. "Further proof that SexyPixieFairyGirls (Zooey Deschanel) don't really exist. What they really are are crazy schitzo lunatics that like to make "snow angles" in a sand box/giant cat and child litter box."

    You took the words right out of my mouth. Manic Pixie Dream Girl characters are merely annoying in movies, but if someone tries to act like that in real life, they just come across as deranged. And Zooey Deschanel irritates the crap out of me, so I guarantee that my slapping hand would twitch like crazy in Mary's presence.

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  9. ^She bugs me too. Enough already!

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  10. Free spirit is another way of saying, she's a dick.

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