3/29/2013

One Way to Toss a Salad

Story Sent in by James:

I took Maria out to eat at a pretty nice place for date numero uno. She was chatty and friendly and liked to talk with her hands a lot. After our meals were served (mine with a side salad), she noticed a hangnail.

"Ew, a hangnail," she said, then peeled it off and flicked it across the table, where it landed right in my tasty salad.

I sat back in automatic revulsion. She gasped and said, "Oh my God, I'm sorry!" then reached into my dressing-tossed salad with her bare hand, grabbed the clump of leaves into which her nail had landed, stuffed it into her mouth, chewed, and ate it.

Yum.

In total honesty, I took her out on a second date, but I wasn't really feeling things, and the image of her sticking a hand in my salad and eating her nail proved to be... off-putting.

8 comments:

  1. That's unfortunate....and gross. I feel like she's not necessarily a bad person but lacks some personal hygiene. I wouldn't be attracted to that behavior either.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Good thing she didn't have a rusty spoon, eh Steve?

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think OP lost out here. If this girl went in hands first to stuff something a little gross in her mouth....Well, I'm just saying, she'd probably be willing to do her own car maintenance. Changing oil and break pads and stuff. That can really save a lot of money.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Chunky Horse likes 'torture porn' movies, but doesn't understand why they aren't G-rated.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I was all sympathetic for you, OP, until you said you went on a second date. Seriously? No sympathy for you!

    ReplyDelete
  6. If only she'd eaten your nail and you'd gotten to put your hand in her salad...

    ReplyDelete
  7. I see what you did there, Architect...

    ReplyDelete

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.