5/06/2012

Hulk Flash!

Story Sent in by Carly:

Will was a persistent guy who messaged me online a few times until I replied. The delay in my response was mostly due to the fact that his introductory messages were all really short, on the order of a sentence or two: "You seem cool" or "Tell me about you." Finally, when he wrote me a longer, thoughtful message, I liked enough of what I read to write him back.

After several messages, we wound up on a date. He had asked me repeatedly if I wanted to go to a horse race. I didn't know of a place around us where a horse race was going on, but I told him that I'd be happy to go for a little bit. When we met up, though, he said, "I couldn't find a horse race around here, so we just have to go to dumb dinner."

At dumb dinner, he spent more time looking at my chest than at me. After two beers, he quipped, "Your breasts are like melon... breasts."

I asked for the check. Will picked up on the fact that things weren't going well, and he said, "What's wrong? What can I do to give you more fun?"

I replied, "Not too much at this point."

"Is this about the horse race? I told you I couldn't find a place."

I said, "It's okay. I kind of need to get home."

"Another date?"

"No. I have to be up early tomorrow for a... a meeting."

He said, "You're lying. It's early. I know you have another date scheduled. Hrrraaaggghh!" He straightened himself up in his seat and tore his shirt clean off, like the Incredible Hulk. Unlike the Hulk, however, Will was a bit chunky underneath his top.

He then attempted the same thing with his pants, but I yelled, "Will, no!" and he kept his pants on.

The check arrived, and we split it. Will kept his shirt off the rest of the date and didn't say very much, except to occasionally beg me to stay out longer. I didn't, and I left the strange shirtless man alone in front of the restaurant, without so much as a hug goodbye.

4 comments:

  1. The way the ending of this is written, it appears that you stayed with this shirtless man for a while after you'd already paid your cheque.
    Also The Hulk doesn't rip his shirt off purposefully, it rips because he grows bigger.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ^True, it's Superman who rips his shirt. But not in a fit of anger.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Were you at the dumb diner, where they let flabby men go shirtless?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Maybe it was Hulk HOGAN she was thinking of? I don't watch wrestling but doesn't he randomly rip off his shirt to scream and flex?

    I'm also curious to know how long the date lasted after that, and if either of them got any reaction from the wait staff or other patrons of the dumb diner.

    ReplyDelete

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