12/08/2011

Deny Deny Deny

Email Sent in by Vicki:

Hello.

I have looked at your profile very often in the past weeks. When I have felt down I read it and it makes me feel better. I work at a crap job and my family is crap and my kids are garbage and all the money I make is also crap. The one thing I have at the end of a day of making other people's lives crap is looking at your profile. It is a sunshine among the clouds.

About me I guess you want to know. I work in insurance with the one job to deny people. Deny deny deny. I spend my whole life saying no. Then I see your profile and I think yes yes yes! Here is a little person who is in touch with the big picture. She may not be university-educated but she is still smart for herself and knows the value of things. That cannot be taught.

I propose that we meet at a pavilion so that I may simply sit and bask in your presence. You need say no words, but a smile would be most kind. It would dissolve the crap. Perhaps it would inspire me to give you a hug, and then perhaps a briefest of kisses. If only I would be so blessed in a life full of denials to peel off your outer layers and see the "real you." You may not be educated but you can give me hope and I can educate you throoughly ;)

Stay beautiful, my ever-impactful dame!

Geoff

16 comments:

  1. Aaaaaand my ovaries just shriveled up and dissolved away into my abdominal cavity.

    ReplyDelete
  2. He and Mr. "I have a knife I'd like to introduce you to" probably see each other every year at the cereal convention.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yeah, nothing gets an ol' gal hot and bothered like calling her uneducated (repeatedly), and telling her about how crappy your life, and by extension, yourself, is.

    ReplyDelete
  4. He (presumably) is University-educated, and yet he is miserable and has a stupid-sounding job. Just jump already, dude.

    ReplyDelete
  5. It's funny because when I feel down, I read about pathetic people like Geoff on THIS website, and that makes me feel better. I wonder if I might meet Geoff at a pavilion so I may simply sit and bask in his self-loathing? He need say no words, but a few tears would be most kind.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I totally read this while picturing Toby from the office. Creepy!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Mentioning her lack of college education once was fine; it came off as a compliment the first time, in context. Every time after that it sounds more and more arrogant.

    In his very meager defense, his job sounds soul-suckingly awful.

    ReplyDelete
  8. The boy needs a hobby. Maybe he could make up for his job by helping out at a homeless shelter or something. Maybe he should spend some time playing with his kids instead of moaning about how awful his life is. Maybe he should take ownership of his life instead of pretending life was just something that happened to him.

    Maybe he should learn to spell "thoroughly" if he's going to point out other people's lack of college degrees.

    ReplyDelete
  9. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Good one, Wolfdream01! I agree.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I assume so, Gnome. I think it was the ";)" at the end of that paragraph that really made me want to puke.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I like the implication early on that he has a family and children. Because if there's one thing hotter than calling someone uneducated, it's letting someone know that you also have a family you're willing to leave for them before you even meet them.

    ReplyDelete
  13. When writing messages on dating sites, whatever you do, never ever EVER go for pity. Maybe as an insurance claims adjuster he reads so many sob stories daily that that's all he can write.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I know! OP should have written back "I regret to inform you that based on your marital status being a pre-existing condition, your application to date me has been denied."

    Honestly, it shames me that it took me SO long to think of that. :-(

    ReplyDelete
  15. He never said he was married, just that his family was crap. That could just be mother/father/siblings. And he can definitely have kids out of wedlock. I'm not saying that's he's not awful, but he might not be married.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Who calls their kids garbage !?

    ReplyDelete

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.