8/24/2011

All's Fair. Except When it Isn't.

Story Sent in by Shannon:

I was out to dinner with Keith, a guy who had written to me online. He worked for an events company that put on different trade shows and country fairs. I had attended a few of his company's events, and so that formed the basis for most of our conversation.

In the midst of an otherwise pleasant conversation, he asked me, "Have you ever brought a guy you were dating to one of those events?"

I thought it was a strange question, but it seemed harmless, for the moment. I replied, "I think so. Probably. I've been to a few of your fairs in the past."

"Did you find a secluded spot and have sex with them there?"

I laughed. "What? Why would you ask me that?"

He folded his hands together and replied, straight-faced, "Because my company's instituting a new policy at our events: no sex allowed. I'm just curious regarding its prevalence."

I said, "No. I never had sex at any fair, ever."

"Would you like to?"

I laughed again. He repeated, "Would you like to? I'm serious."

I said, "I don't think so, but thanks for the offer."

"I wasn't offering!" he said, raising his voice considerably. I stopped laughing. He went on, "I'm just asking. Sex has to stop at my events. I'm asking you just to see if you think there's anything at my events that encourages sex. That's all."

I asked, "Can we stop talking about sex?"

He replied. "What do you want to talk about?"

The first thing that popped into my head was, "Tell me about some of your future events."

He said, "Well, there's going to be no sex at them, I can tell you that." He then leaned in and whispered, "Unless you'd like there to be." He then slipped his index finger into the closed fist of of opposite hand and gave me a creepy smile.

I stood up and said, "I'm going."

"What?" he asked, "What did I say?"

I was flustered, but I wouldn't let him distract me from what I had to do. I said, "I have to go. Bye."

I flew out of that place so fast that I must have set a new land speed record. My hurry didn't stop until I made it home and locked the door behind me.

6 comments:

  1. "He then slipped his index finger into the closed fist of of opposite hand and gave me a creepy smile."

    That right there is how I met the current Mrs Badgerdaddy.

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  2. We've also instituted a no pig policy at our fairs; we found the squeals far too... distracting. *smile*

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  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. I had to slip 3 fingers into a very loosely closed fist to attract the current Ms. Feltersnatch.

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  5. I would have been like, "Sorry, personal policy: I don't have sex with hypocrites."

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  6. I like that he got all mad the first time she called him out on the fact that he OBVIOUSLY wanted to fuck her at a fair, and then gave up and was like "heh heh heh *creeper hand gesture*." To be fair to him, he really didn't SAY anything that creeped her out.

    FTR, I don't like fairs.

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