Getting Blade

Story Sent in by Brett:

My first and only one night stand was with Lana. We met at a college party, chatted for a few hours, and she invited me back to her sublet.

After we did it, we fell asleep. I didn't really know what her expectations were so I thought we'd discuss them (if there was anything to discuss) in the morning. But we never made it that far. In the middle of the night, she woke me with a shriek. I jumped out of bed and asked her what was wrong.

"Who are you?" she shouted over and over, "Who are you? Who are you?"

"Brett! Brett!" I reminded her, but she screamed and threw things at me. Books, pillows, even her lamp.

I knew I had to go, so I grabbed my clothes from the bedding and floor just in time to see her reach into her bedside table and pull out a long knife. My turn to scream. I bolted from her room, buck naked, and outside in the early morning hours. I made it to the next yard and pulled on my pants.

Then she emerged from her house in a robe and holding the knife. She saw me and ran at me. I tore off as fast as I could, down the sidewalk and towards the center of town, praying that she wasn't a track star.

I finally made it to a main street and lost her. For the rest of my college career, I made sure to avoid any parties if I thought there was any chance she'd show up.


  1. Talk about regrets after the fact!I wonder if Lana was so seriously drunk she forgot who Brett really was OR this was just her way of getting rid of guys who tried to sleep over.

  2. Am I just a cynic, but when she started shrieking, my first thought was 'Well, Roofie is a hell of a drug.'...?

    But then it got kind of really scary for Brett, so...I felt bad. Good reaction, Brett. When the cray-cray go stab-stab, you should go run-run.

    1. Hey I mean it is possible to drink so much your brain stops turning short term memory into long term memory, which is what people call a "black out."

      Brett could have been the victim of a girl who honestly thought she'd been taken advantage of. Of course, that doesn't excuse her chasing him with a knife after he was already gone. For that matter, why did she have a knife at her bedside?

      I change my statements, Brett got away from a serial killer.

    2. You know what? You are not only funny, but wise, Oh Lady Bananas XD

      Item #6954 that I should not share with random strangers on the internet: I actually have gotten so stoned before that I stared at my friend and went "Do I know you?" and he went "Shit, this isn't good." Lol. But I didn't proceed with attacking him with a knife. I just squinted at him in a paranoid way and made him prove that he knows me, which is what we normal alcoholics do. (Lana, take note. You go a bit quick from zero to knife-vigilante.)

      So I agree, maybe she got her synapses mixed up and forgot who he was, but chasing him after he ran out is over the top.

  3. OP's planned night of penetration wasn't quite how he imagined it...

  4. Ur very lucky ur not in jail right now getting raped by bubba, what happened was that she was so drunk she couldn't give consent. Moral: don't sleep with drunk girls

    1. But if he was also drunk, he couldnt consent either. Therefore they raped each other, following that logic of course.

    2. also "raped by bubba"? Way to go love you managed to sound both racist AND completely idiotic in one go. I'm proud of you.

    3. Isn't Bubba rap just country music? I'm so confused...

  5. really really want to see the rebuttal on this...


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