1/07/2017

Depends. Can I Keep the Sheets?

Email Sent in by Veronica:

Hello,

This might sound weird but bear with me please. My girlfriend and I are seeking a third but we only want your bottom half. We look at people's profiles together and decide if we want to ask them to join us. We agreed that your top half is fat and ugly but your bottom half looks like exactly what we need. Also we like honesty. Could you tell? No use getting involved with someone you can't be honest with you know? Anyway if you want your bottom half serviced like its never been serviced before then this is your lucky day. We'll probably cover your top half over with a black sheet or several white sheets. But maybe you will be ok with this? Let me know pronto!

Jonathan

11 comments:

  1. I would be agreeable to those terms...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You'd take any half you could get.

      Delete
  2. Everyone knows that paper bags are for the Mona Lisa's and butter faces of the world.That's standard practice.I guess Jonathan and his girlfriend thought OP would be so grateful that anyone would be interested in her bottom half considering her top half is unsuitable.Or perhaps girlfriend did not want a woman that was prettier than her because she has self esteem issues.But does Jonathan really have a girlfriend?Or was this just a mean dig at Op?Seriously,if you don't like a person as a whole then why bother?If this is for real then I pity anyone who is dumb enough to hook up with these fools because I can imagine they would end up being held captive in a hidden room being fed spamwiches while having their top half covered in My Little Pony Sheets.My creeper senses are tingling!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They didn't like her as a whole, but they did like at least two of her holes. Consolation prize?

      Delete
  3. Either misogynistic troll or very misguided negging.

    ReplyDelete
  4. pffft, what? Well I'm glad you liked my lower half, because it's going to be one of my feet in your groin I'm interested in sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ugh I wish I'd never online dated so I could pretend this kind of nonsense didn't actually happen. I can't imagine why these two losers would think this strategy would be appealing to anyone.

    ReplyDelete
  6. It's possible they all live in Bikini Bottom.

    But anyway, you know she responded in halves, too. And it's a good thing, because we know we're all thinking that if she accepted, she'll wind up like this.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Johnathan, you are never gonna find a unicorn with that attitude.

    ReplyDelete

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