10/21/2015

For a Few Scholars More

Story Sent in by Michelle:

In college, I took a seminar in a huge lecture hall. Thomas approached me after it one day and introduced himself. I hadn't seen him before (but the class had hundreds of students) and he asked me out to dinner for that coming Friday. I hadn't yet dated anyone in college and I felt ready to jump into it.

He told me over the phone that he had picked out a great place. It was called Wesley's and was apparently next to a Starbucks. I couldn't find it on my GPS (nor could I find any online reviews about the place) but he gave me the address and that Friday, I parked in front of the Starbucks he had specified.

When I looked around the area, I saw no sign of a Wesley's restaurant. Thomas arrived shortly thereafter and told me that it was just around the other side of the building. It was well-lit and there were a few people around so I felt comfortable following him to Wesley's.

As we passed a giant dumpster, he said, "All right. Here we go." He climbed up and into the dumpster and disappeared inside.

I was horrified. "What are you doing? Get out of there!"

That's when I saw it.

The name on the side of the dumpster? "Wesley's Waste Management."

"Wesley's is a dumpster?" I asked.

He called out, "We're in college. This is how it's gotta be from now on."

I backed away, listened to him rummage around in there for a few moments, then booked it far, far away.

I wasn't sure if I'd hear from him or worse, if he'd come up to me the next class. As it turned out, he did approach me but he simply said, "You missed out on some choice baguettes."

Okay, pal. I'll take your word for it.

3 comments:

  1. lol were his eyes red and did he smell funny?? he either was high or this was some frat prank lolol

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dude, save the dumpster diving for the second date.

    ReplyDelete
  3. *in the voice of Morgan Freeman*
    Ahh the Freegan. A unique sect of foodie that believes no food should go to waste, ignoring any and all "expiration dates". In their natural habitat, a Freegan will gravitate towards wealthier establishments, hoping for a "choice" selection culled from the waste of their betters. It is when the Freegan wanders into the poorer areas that they must be on their guard. Other Freegans are fiercely territorial and will not hesitate to defend their dumpster/mating site. But even rivals must band together when a true predator arrives.

    ReplyDelete

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