9/01/2015

Wherever I Bro, They Bro

Story Sent in by Marilyn:

There was a fun brunch place near me that had just opened up and I suggested to James that we meet there for our first date. He was a friendly guy and had a pretty positive attitude. Most of his profile photos were of him with his friends, which boded well. In retrospect, I guess I should've realized that it might have been a red flag.

That's because when he arrived for the date he showed up with not one but two other guys. He introduced them as Brandon and Henry and they sat with us. I told James that I didn't expect company other than himself, and he just laughed it off.

Of the three of them, Henry seemed the most interested in me, by which I mean that he asked me a question or two and then lost interest. James and Brandon were trading inside jokes and telling funny stories that must have been really funny to them, but were completely lost on me.

The meals came and went. When the check came, Brandon offered to pay for my meal and said, "I feel kinda bad. We've been monopolizing the conversation, here." Thanks, Brandon. I'll accept your offer and silently agree with your statement.

After the meal was over we left the restaurant and Brandon and Henry took off, leaving me alone with James on the sidewalk. He had barely said a word to me that day.

"So..." he began, apparently not having any idea of what to do next. He asked, "You wanna like, kiss or something?"

He moved toward me as if expecting a thumbs-up. But that was not in the cards for poor James. "Sorry," I said, "I have someplace to be. Thanks for the date."

I felt a little bad, leaving so abruptly. And he definitely noticed, as he wrote me an email to ask if everything was okay and if he had done anything to offend me. I wrote back, "I don't think we're a good match but best of luck," and he actually replied, "Why not?"

Leave it to someone else to do the educating. He'll find out eventually. I hope.

7 comments:

  1. You should have given him a chance. He might have brought your soul mate with him the next time.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Don't hate just because you aren't in their club, OP. Real friends stick together and never say "die", even when they are in their twenties with no jobs and still living with their parents.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Should have told him that bringing friends on a date is inappropriate. If you don't rub the puppy's nose in the mess, they'll just keep piddling on the carpet.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Obviously he wanted a 4-way. You missed out!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Actual representation of conversation between guys after

    James (chugs beer): So that bitch was like a TOTAL prude even though she knew we wanted to bang her!

    Brandon: Bros before Hoes- does she know anything? Fuckin' slut

    Henry: She totally wanted to fuck me the whole time!

    ReplyDelete

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