8/11/2015

Cold Shower

Story Sent in by Steve:

I live near a lake and own a small rowboat that I take out on occasion. I met Colette online and we had a lively correspondence that migrated to daily phone calls. When I told her about my little boat, she seemed really interested in it and I asked her if she wanted to take it out on the lake with me to watch a forthcoming meteor shower. She loved the idea.

I took her out to dinner and then we went to the lake. When we made it to the boat she asked me, "Who's going out in it first?"

There was plenty of room for two and I told her, "We don't have to take turns."

She said, "You mean go out together on a boat, just the two of us? I don't see that happening. It's a first date."

I assured her, "I'm not going to try anything. We can stay here and watch the meteors if that would make you feel better."

She said, "No! I want to go out on the boat. Just, you know, one of us at a time."

I wanted to be sure I had her logic correct. I asked, "So we'll watch the meteor shower separately: one of us on the boat, the other of us on the shore?"

She said, "It won't be separately. I won't be, like, 100 miles from you. You'll still be able to see me. I'll just be on the boat and you'll be here. Then when you want to go out on the boat, I'll come back and we'll switch."

It sounded stupid. I said, "Why don't we just watch it from here?"

She became angry, "Why is this such a problem for you? I want to go out on the boat. I've been looking forward to it. I'll go out for a little while, come back, then you can go. I don't know how to make it easier to understand."

I explained, "This isn't a date if we're doing things separately."

She moaned. "We're not doing it separately! You'll be able to see me the whole time! I just don't get it! Why is this so hard to figure out? We drove here separately!"

I said, "That's different. That's going from one place to another. This is an activity. So by your logic if you were on the moon and I was here looking at the moon, we'd still be on a date together?"

She said, "You need to grow up. Are you letting me on your boat or not?"

"Not without me. I'm fine staying here with you and watching the meteors."

She said, "Then I'm done. Sorry."

I walked her back to her car and she drove off without even saying bye. I took the boat out on my own and enjoyed the meteor shower by myself.

5 comments:

  1. I wanted to make a joke about the OP and camp Crystal Lake but after I finished the story I just couldn't. This girl's deliberate obtuseness just befuddled me. "Let's get married but live in separate houses and never see each other. We'll still be married, just separately." My brain hurts.

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  2. Maybe she just wanted to steal his boat? Would have been hard and pretty dumb! Even so not sure what she was thinking

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  3. Never lead with your boat.

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  4. Never lead with your boat.

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  5. If you were that afraid he's try something, why did you agree to go to his place?

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