8/26/2015

Before the Devil Knows You're Dating

Story Sent in by Amy:

A few churches in my area organized a fun outdoor retreat and that's where I met John. He was funny, handsome, and was always the center of attention. I'll spare you the details but we became closely acquainted over a short time and he asked me out on a date for the following week.

I was under the impression that we'd be going out for dinner and maybe drinks, but instead he asked me to meet him in the back lot of a local church. Was there some sort of event going on there? No. When I arrived, the building was dark and the lot was empty except for his car. He was already at the locked back door, trying to pry it open with a small, thin, metal card

"What are you doing?" I asked him, more than a little disturbed.

He said, "We're gonna play a trick on these nerps at St. Joseph's. We're gonna sneak in and steal all their chairs. So when they have their fall jamboree this weekend, there won't be anywhere for anyone to sit!"

I didn't know what "nerps" meant but I said, "I don't think that's a good idea. How about we go out to dinner instead?"

"We have to do this, first. Over half the population of St. Joseph's is over 60. It'll be hysterical. Wait just a second for me to crack into it, here..."

After a couple of moments, he had the door open. A high-pitched beep came from somewhere. He had obviously triggered an alarm that he didn't know about.

John shouted a stream of expletives, ran for his car, and took off. I wasn't at all far behind him.

I was terrified I'd be pulled over on the way home, but it didn't happen. You know what else didn't happen? Me seeing John a second time.

6 comments:

  1. OP, why didn't you report him to the police? Prank or no, he could've hurt someone and could be continuing doing stupid shit like this!

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  2. Pennywise the clown strikes again!

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  3. Yeah, 60 year olds with nowhere to sit is freaking hilarious. Total nerps!

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  4. ' "I don't think that's a good idea. How about we go out to dinner instead?" ' How can one be so desperately focused on a meal that they are willing to go to dinner with a thief ?

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  5. I can't stop thinking about the details of "closely acquainted". Was she basically saying they got it on, then they decided let's go on a date? What kind of church was this exactly?

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  6. I can't stop thinking about the details of "closely acquainted". Was she basically saying they got it on, then they decided let's go on a date? What kind of church was this exactly?

    ReplyDelete

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