2/10/2015

Accidental Work

Story Sent in by Christopher:

Jennifer called me the day of our date to let me know that she had been in a fender bender. She said she was fine but that her neck was a little stiff. I asked if she wanted to postpone but she was adamant about keeping to our original plans, so we met in a park downtown.

Based on Jennifer's movements, she seemed more than a little stiff. She winced whenever she turned her head even a little bit, so she didn't turn her head much at all. She also spoke in a weird monotone, like a nasally computer voice. We hadn't spoken over the phone at all, so I hadn't known what her voice would sound like. I didn't make a mention of it, but it was loud and weird.

"Are you sure you're up for hanging out?" I asked her, "I'll seriously be fine if you want to recuperate at home. Or in the hospital."

"I eam fyne," she said with that voice of hers.

We tried to take a walk but she seemed to be in lots of pain so I suggested we sit. We talked for a while but soon it became dark. I asked her if she was up for dinner and she said she was. But as we walked on, it was clear that she was anything but ready to be walking. I was really concerned.

I said, "If you're in pain we should cut this short. Seriously."

"Nyooooooo!" she blurted, "Eye whant teu hay-ave din-ner wiy-ith yee-ouuuuu."

Her eyes practically bugged out. She looked and sounded like an electrocuted Steve Bucemi. But it was her call so we went to dinner.

She looked like she was in immense pain throughout the meal and I ended it early so that she could go home and rest.

I called the next day to check on her and this is how the conversation went:

"Hi Jennifer. How are you feeling?"

"Hyeee, Chris-to-pher. Aye... aye... aye... aye... aye... aye... aye... aye... aye... aye... aye... aye... aye..." and then she hung up. Oh well.

4 comments:

  1. Poor Steve Buscemi, he has to bear the burden of being everyone's bar for weird and ugly.

    On a side note, that accident is really going to cut into her gym time.

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  2. I'm thinking more like dinner whore, Archie.

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  3. @ Path's Walker - That is definitely a desperate dinner whore. Three cracked vertebrae and a fractured skull but she is getting her some Margarita Chicken at Applebee's!

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  4. Admit it OP, this "date" was just a trial run for your new animatronic sex doll. It's a shame what happens after the warranty expires and they have to be retired.

    ReplyDelete

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