1/18/2015

Cake or Break

Story Sent in by Cassie:

Karl pulled up to the restaurant in a Chevy with a Confederate flag emblazoned across the back of it. He jumped out, saw me, called me pretty, and we went inside together.

He told me all about his new business: designing wedding cakes! He claimed to have a lot of clients and that his business was picking up. He asked me if I wanted to see his portfolio, after dinner. I couldn't think of a nice way to decline, so that's how we ended up in a well-lit storage unit off the highway.

He claimed that it was his "studio" despite the fact that all it had in it were some beat-up old cardboard boxes and a photo album of wedding cakes. Thing was, these cake photos were clearly ripped out of magazines.

"These are your cakes? You made them?" I asked.

"Sure did."

"Because they look like they're from bridal magazines."

"They're not. I'll make you one right now if you want."

He looked around and said, "Damn. Left my tools at home. Maybe next time!"

Whatever. I told him it was late and I had to wake up early to play soccer. He hugged me goodnight and I drove home. Although he called me a few times to set up a second date, I never went for it.

10 comments:

  1. OP, I can't believe that you took off from this guy, he sounds like a real catch. You know he had an amazing date prepared for you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. When they remove the beers from the top cake, it'll have beer can imprints in the frosting. Ick.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Of course, that was part of the setup. When he removed the beers, he would "romantically" want to have both of them lick the icing off the can - kind of like chocolate dipped strawberries, only with Natural Light and redneck cake icing instead.

    ReplyDelete
  4. ^ Don't forget, they also had to shotgun the beers. No redneck wedding is complete without a shotgun or two.

    (I can say that because I'm from NC)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Also, am I the only one that caught the fact that she went with this guy to a storage unit? That's a great place to murder someone...just saying.

    ReplyDelete
  6. ^^ Oh yea, I can't believe I forgot to add in the shotgun the beers part.

    I'm from NC too.

    ReplyDelete
  7. ^ Small world! So then that was a pic of your wedding cake? ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  8. All the comments are funny as hell - but I'll agree with The Architect, that the very first image I got was a police photo of one of those oozing Rubbermaid bins found years later in a storage unit :( She's lucky he imagined a second date and let her live !!

    ReplyDelete
  9. No, Archi, that wasn't my wedding cake because I'm not married, it's my dream wedding cake for when I do get married though! It's just perfect, except for the Natural Light, I'm more of a Bud Ice girl.

    ReplyDelete
  10. "I couldn't think of a nice way to decline, so that's how we ended up in a well-lit storage unit off the highway."

    So many things wrong with this that I don't even know where to start...

    ReplyDelete

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.