11/19/2014

No Waaaaay

Story Sent in by Rachel:

We were in a booth at a bar. It was my first date with Alex. We had both drank some and I had a good buzz going on. He then leaned in close enough to kiss and said, "Tell me a secret."

I told him, "I slept with one of my high school teachers. After I graduated."

He said, "Gross. My turn: I made out with someone elderly. Multiple times."

"How elderly?" I asked.

"Way elderly. Waaaaaaaay eldery. Essentially dead."

That made me waaaaaaaaay uneasy. "How elderly?"

"Don't get grossed out. It was her idea. She was still hot. Some women are, at that age."

"What age?"

"I dunno. Like 85. Maybe 86. She begged for it. For all I know, she might've been your grandma! Wouldn't that be something? You two sort of smell similar."

Nothing like that sort of conversation to flash-sober me up. I forgot exactly what I said, but I excused myself and left for my car.

3 comments:

  1. So you drove drunk because your equally drunk date told an embarrassing secret from his past after you told one, and made yourself sound like an agest bitch in the process. Sterilize yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "You two sort of smell similar."

    Well, there went my joke.

    Don't kid yourself though OP, that old lady was probably pretty Rock 'N' Roll.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thank you, Connie. I'm glad I wasn't the only person who noticed the drunk driving. Also, I find the fact that Rachel slept with one of her former teachers WAY creepier than her date making out with an elderly woman. If I were him, I would have run away from YOU after hearing that.

    ReplyDelete

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