8/30/2014

Corny. Cheesy. Crazy.

Story Sent in by James:

I met Grace at one of my county's big annual community dinners. She was behind a food table, passing out creamed corn. I don't even like creamed corn, but I went up for two extra helpings because I wanted to talk to her. Amazingly, we hit it off and we sat down together and she gave me her number. During that time, I neglected to tell her that I didn't really like creamed corn at all. Most of it sat uneaten on my plate.

Our first date was fine. We went out to the movies and then to dinner. I think we both had fun.

On our second date, it was cold out so we remained at her place. She cooked... creamed corn. A pot full of it. "I remember you like it," she said, "I made it the same way as at the dinner - with a little bit of cheese mixed in."

Finally, I had to fess up. I told her that I didn't really like creamed corn at all... that I had just gone up to grab more because I wanted to talk to her. I thought she'd laugh it off or find it cute and funny.

She didn't. She got really serious and said, "So you lied to me?"

I said, "I mean, I don't hate creamed corn... I just don't like it that much. And I just wanted to talk to you."

"But you lied to me about liking creamed corn. You completely lied."

"To be fair, I never said I liked it."

"You did, but that's okay," she said. She was evidently very proud of her recipe. I had tasted it and thought that it was better than most I'd tried, but it was still what it was.

She went into the kitchen and I heard a tremendous bang. I bolted in and found that she had completely upended the creamed corn pot, and it was splattered all over the floor, spreading everywhere.

"Let me help you clean up," I started.

"No!" she shrieked, "I don't want liars in my house! Go! Go! Liar! Liar!"

I went. Didn't see her again for a while, until the following year's big dinner, as a matter of fact. I debated going, having a feeling she'd be there, and she was. I gave her a cordial hello, but she acted like she didn't even know me.

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