230 Years Old, Still Ruins Dates

Story Sent in by Edmond:

I had one of those dating site email chains with Vanessa that went on for pages and pages and pages. We talked about every little thing. One mention on her part that fell in with the rest of our little fact-gathering on each other was that she once had to write a report on her favorite president, Martin Van Buren.

While we were out on a walk on our first date, we walked past a line of parallel-parked cars and a van. What was a little strange was that it was a bunch of same-color red cars in a row with a same-color red van.

I drew attention to it with a vacuous line like, "They're all the same color, these cars and this van."

"Not just a van," Vanessa announced, "Martin Van Buren!" Then she punched the van with a right hook.

"My hand! Ow!" She wrung out her hand and cried. I hoped that the pain would eventually stop, and when it didn't, I went with her to a nearby emergency room where they told her that she had fractured something. I don't remember exactly what, but because I was so nice to her and waited with her, I hoped that there'd be a second date, which there never was.


  1. You were too nice - you didn't punish the van for hurting her.

    Besides, why would you want an extra helping of stupid?

  2. You were hoping for a second date? With a van punching idiot? How sad it didn't work out as you two sound perfect for each other.

  3. This is why I get so annoyed with boyz sometimes. They want more of idiotic, not-so-nice women, and don't want someone who would actually be nice to them. And then complain that nobody wants a nice guy. It's beyond frustrating. OP, you're my least favorite kind of guy. sigh.

  4. I get liking "fun & quirky" folks, but wanting seconds of someone who punched a van so hard she fractured something in her hand? That's just... as stupid as punching a van.

  5. I like how her favorite President was not Washington, Lincoln, Jefferson, etc... but Martin Van Buren. Panic of 1837, WHOOT!

  6. Tanette: Can it be that you are just projecting your issues onto this case? ALOT?

    In what way is she mean to him or does she treat him terribly?
    This is not a case of "why don't they like nice guys" in any ways. They probably had a good date and she did that, while doing a playful punch,hit it harder than she expected (which spoiled the mood)


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