6/04/2013

New York Minute

Story Sent in by Mae:

Bob was a blind date. When he met me in Central Park, he gave me the once over and said, "First thing you need to know is I'm a breast guy, and I approve!" He gave me a thumbs-up.

I replied, "If I was a girl who loved pervs, I'd also approve!"

He gave me a smoldering look, pointed at me, and shouted, loud enough for passersby to hear, "Why aren't you proud of your chest?"

I shouted back, "For the same reason you're a dick!"

He said, "I was going to take you out for dessert, but you can forget that. You can buy your own dessert!"

He stormed off. Inspired by his final comment, I went a little out of my way to buy myself dessert. I had chocolate cheesecake. It was great.

16 comments:

  1. I know some guys think that "Nice tits" is the ultimate compliment but I'll never understand why those same guys think the woman should be super proud to get that compliment. Unless a woman bought her rack, our involvement in the growth process is limited and rarely a source of pride.

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  2. Loving boobs doesn't make the guy a perv. Mentioning it as his initial in-person greeting to you means that he has no judgement whatsoever, though.

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  3. As a larger girl and therefore keen on both free dessert and chocolate cheese cake, these two are my dream threesome partners. Throw in a bed piled with garbage, a twin, Steve, JMG, The Architects Cat, Howie in a gimp suit all wrapped in a shitty trailer and you've got a good start.

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  4. If only he hadn't picked up that copy of *Dating Like a Douchebag for Dummies*. Oh cruel fate!

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  5. @ TryN2Fly - Don't forget Fizziks working the camera. She's great with teh angles!

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  6. .......and Fizzicks recording everything with her google glasses while choking people & touching her lady parts. (Thanks for the loan of the cat again TA. )

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  7. Luckily it's easy for me to choke people while keeping my hands free for spelunking .

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  8. I don't get women. I love it when girls compliment the size of my huge shlong...
    Why do I have to be in the gimp suit again...I'm tired of being the pin cushion for to Steve and Jared. Let me pitch for once!

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  9. @ Howie - But you're such a great catcher! And that skin tight leather really highlights the piercing in your third nipple.

    @ TryN2Fly - Keep the cat as long as you like. Just keep her away from Fizziks' vag cave. The fish smell lures her in and then we have to call a rescue team with a crane to get her out again.

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  10. Story of my life: everyone wants Architect's pussy and no one wants mine. I get lucky once a year by putting a "Haunted Cavern!" sign outside. At least the screams of the lost help convince the latecomers to check out the attraction.

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  11. At least you didn't get forgotten about! I'm gonna go cry somewhere. Nah. It's my own damn fault. I never make any good comments.

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  12. Awww Tanette, I could never forget about you! Mostly because of the yearly candlelit vigils of people hoping to eventually rescue you from my folds.

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  13. tanette, if I'm the gimp, you can be my gag ball with your boobie.

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  14. you guys are making me cry tears of joy! I'll be happy to be your gimp, Howie.

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