Story Sent in by John:
All of Doreen's profile photos were of her from the waist up. When we met in person I discovered that her hips, thighs, and butt were gigantic and totally out of proportion with the rest of her body. If ever she sat on my head she'd crush it like an egg. Anyway we sat down to dinner and we talked about our pasts, including high school.
She told me, "My group of friends made up superhero names for each other. I was buttgirl."
"What was your super power?"
She said, "The ability to do anything with my butt."
I said, "Your parents must be proud."
She laughed. "They probably don't know half the stuff I did in high school. With and without my butt."
Because I sincerely wanted clarification, I asked her, "How did you do anything without your butt?"
She stopped laughing, said, "Okay, date's over!" then wobbled up and waddled out.
"Wait. Don't go," I said halfheartedly, but I ultimately let her go. She struck me as hypersensitive and not worth it.