3/23/2013

Baths of Glory

Story Sent in by Sam:

Colin asked me out for a pizza lunch one weekend. When I arrived at the pizza place, Colin wasn't there. I called him after a while and he said that he was at his house and had to wait for his brother to come home, as his brother's car was blocking his own car. I offered to swing by and pick him up.

When I arrived, Colin wasn't outside, and I rang his doorbell. No one came to the door, but he called me and said, "The door should be open. Come straight upstairs. I'm stuck in the bathtub. You have to help me out. There's a layer of tar or something."

I said, "I'm not coming to get you out of the bathtub. Are we doing lunch or not?"

"Yes, if you help me out or if you bring the pizza here. I'll pay for it. Come inside. There's money in the drawer in the downstairs bureau. It's right next to the front door."

I pushed the front door open and crept inside. No one was around, and I heard him yell, "See it?" from upstairs. I opened the bureau and pulled out two tens.

I left his house and picked up a large cheese pizza. When I returned to his house, I called his phone from outside and he said, "I'm still stuck in the bathtub and my brother's not home yet. Bring the pizza up here."

It was way too creepy a situation for me, so I ate some of the pizza by myself downstairs in his kitchen, left the rest of it in its box on his kitchen table, and drove away from his house. I never found out if he escaped the bathtub.

10 comments:

  1. Way to go, OP. You're my hero.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "It was way too creepy a situation for me, so I stuck around for a little while longer."

    Granted, not as bad as some OP's, but still. If he claims he's stuck somewhere and needs help getting out, offer to call 911 for him, they have experience getting people un-stuck from weird places. If, for some weird reason, he really was stuck, they could help. If, and most likely, he was lying in order to trick you, you'd be amazed at how fast he'd suddenly get himself un-stuck.

    Learned that trick working in tech support. You wouldn't believe the number of guys who think it's original to call and claim their hoo-hoo is stuck in the disk drive. Offering to call an EMT for them usually ends the call, especially when I mention it will probably require amputation.

    ReplyDelete
  3. That's one way to get out of having to tip the delivery guy...

    ReplyDelete
  4. I don't believe he was really stuck in the tub. He had his phone handy to call and receive calls from his date. He could have called for help himself. And why did he get in the bath tub in the first place if there was a "layer of tar" in it? Maybe I'm just cynical and jaded, but it sounds to me like he was just a pervert. Not to mention...if he knew he had a date, and that his brother's car was blocking him in, why didn't he call her to let her know? And then when she offers to pick him up, he decides then is the time to take a bath? None of it makes sense. So I say the OP was right to run for the hills. Lol

    ReplyDelete
  5. I love that she ate some of the pizza and dipped. I would have done the same shit.

    ReplyDelete
  6. "You wouldn't believe the number of guys who think it's original to call and claim their hoo-hoo is stuck in the disk drive. Offering to call an EMT for them usually ends the call, especially when I mention it will probably require amputation."

    This comment is actually funnier and more WTF than the story! Anyhow, I think Colin was had a case of the rapes and was trying to lure the OP up to the bathroom. I don't know which is more offensive - the attempted rape/assault or the fact that Colin is clearly a lazy rapist/assaulter.

    ReplyDelete
  7. @Devil, I was just thinking that he was super lazy.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I like this OP. She sees the engulfing fire that's creeping close to her. She keeps moving only far enough to feel the heat but not to burn.
    she ate the pizza in his kitchen! What did the date do? Chilled in the bathtub? I highly doubt that he was stuck in the tub given story changing from car blocked to he being stuck and all.
    I understand neither of them. He could have come down and followed through whatever his shady plan was. She could have simply took the money and never returned. They both behave as if under some kind of influence.

    ReplyDelete
  9. "There's a layer of tar.........or something" I know that stuff is pretty sticky, but you'd need an elephant to fill a bathtub full of it. Probably good for the skin though.

    ReplyDelete
  10. How badly can someone want a pizza?

    ReplyDelete

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.