11/07/2012

Four More Years

Story Sent in by Kelly:

Ben and I met on a dating site. We had lots in common, including passions for cycling, cooking, and home-brewed beer. What we didn't have in common were political views (he was right-leaning, and I'm a pretty die-hard liberal), but our conversations were always respectful, and I was amazed at how well we meshed.

Our first date, though, showed me how dead wrong first impressions could be. In the very beginning, we walked onto the patio of a café together, strolled toward a table, and he pulled out a chair for me.

I was impressed by his chivalry, but as I went to sit, he yanked the chair out and I almost fell on my ass.

I looked up at him and he wore a wicked grin. "Ha!" he said, "Stupid bitch! Fall down! Do it! Do it!"

I shoved past him, almost in tears, and left him there, without a word.

Two weeks later, when I was well on my way to forgetting the whole affair, an email arrived from him:

Hey Kelly,
Not sure why I haven't heard from you. Might have to do with politics? No idea. Thought we had a good first time out but either way just write and let me know.
Love,
Ben


Needless to say, he didn't receive a response. I don't know what made him act the way he did. The only thing I can imagine is that it came down to politics. It was the only (and in my opinion, minor) flashpoint between us.


*
Are you mean to single people? Here's a neat article from the BBC, all about it. -JMG

11 comments:

  1. You're traveling through another dimension -- a dimension not only of sight and sound but of crazy. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of insanity. That's a signpost up ahead: your next stop: the Twilight Zone!

    That's the only explanation: Ben was on a completely different date with you in another dimension. You guys had some witty banter and a brief political discussion and ended with a kiss at the door.

    You, on the other hand had stepped into the Twilight Zone and ended up on a date with a complete lunatic.

    ReplyDelete
  2. So, within the first 30 seconds of the date, he calls you a bitch and you end up storming away in tears, and this translates into a GOOD date in his mind? What da eeeeff?

    ReplyDelete
  3. It was Freud who said "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."

    Likewise, sometimes a prick is just a prick.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I just did a thorough check of my surrounded area, as I thought I had something dead in the room.

    Then I realized what I was smelling was the story. Not buying it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This is what you get when you date a republican, illogical behavior.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And then the republicans write flimsy defensive lies in the comment section.

      Delete
    2. Probably because they are sore about loosing. Losers.

      Delete
  6. This is what you get when you open up forums to liberal women.They love to lie about men behaving badly.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Rebuttal

    I hooked with this chick online, one of those hippy liberal ones who can't wait to meet a real man.

    Of course she took up my offer of a date, in spite of my 'Santorum Rox!' banner on my profile. Which proved that she was just being 'liberal' because she thinks it's fashionable.

    So, just to test her real beliefs, I held out the chair for her when we were sitting down. Of course, instead of resisting and objecting like a real feminazi liberal should do, she started to sit down.

    So, I pulled the chair away, and when she fell on her ass I said:

    "Ah! You da bitch! All done now, chew on it!"

    She didn't seem to get my humour, and didn't appreciate the lesson in owning up to one's true beliefs and left.

    So, I decided to give her a second chance anyway, and emailed her. But she never answered. Who can figure out these fake-ass bitches anyway.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gah, what's bad is that's probably *exactly* what he's thinking. If a woman objects to her chair being held then she's a feminazi (because objecting to chivalry is exactly the same as participating in genocide) and if she doesn't object to it then she's lying about her beliefs.

      Delete

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