The Dog Dates Are Over

Story Sent in by Roger:

Melissa showed up to our first date dinner wearing a tank top that had a picture of a cartoon dog on it. That was my first clue that something wasn't right. Second clue was the question she asked me not long after sitting down: "Do you own any dogs?"

"I don't," I confessed.

She asked, "Have any friends who own dogs?"

I replied, "I'm sure I... do. You're a dog fan?"

"Uh, yeah," she said, pointing to her shirt, "Do you think that we can go see it?"

"My friend's dog?" I asked, "I... guess."

Perceptive enough to pick up on my hesitation, she asked, "What's wrong?"

I said, "Nothing. It's just a weird thing to ask to do on a date."

She said, "I'm not asking you to jump out an airplane, go car racing, or build me a house where I can keep all my dolls. I'm asking to see your friend's dog. If it's that big a deal, then forget about it."

I shrugged. "Fine. We can go see my friend's dog after dinner. I'll call him and ask if we can stop by."

It was an easy thing to do, at least. It took a phone call. Unfortunately, my friend-with-a-dog didn't pick up his phone. I left a message right there, at the table.

"He wasn't there?" Melissa asked, "Try him again."

"I've already left him a voicemail."

"What's his number? I'll call him. He'll pick up for me. I'm a girl."

"I doubt he'll be able to tell that before picking up, and I'm not giving you his number, in any case. He'll call me back if he's around."

"I want to see a dog."

I laughed. "Okay." She was nuts, and we didn't talk much through all the rest of dinner.

Afterward, she asked me to call my friend one more time, which I pretended to do, and I left a pretend voicemail. Melissa asked, "Do you have any other friends with dogs you can call?"

"No. Why did you come out with me tonight if all you wanted to do was play with a dog?"

She said, "None of my friends with dogs are around this week and I just wanted to meet some new ones. Thanks, anyway."

Just like that, the date was over.