Cavemen Among Us

Story Sent in by Raymond:

Sharon and I were on our second date, which we had planned to consist of a walk in a park, lunch, and a tandem martial arts class (she had a gift certificate for a lesson).

Not long after meeting and greeting each other in the park, she asked me, "I have some friends coming over to meet you. Is that cool? It won't take too long."

I supposed there was nothing wrong with meeting her friends, if that was important to her, and I told her I'd do it.

For some reason, I had expected a group of young women, but instead, only one girl, who looked about 10 years younger than we were, and a staring, dark-eyed guy showed up.

"This is Dana," Sharon said, introducing, "And this is Mack. He's my ex, but Dana's dating him now." She then pointed at Dana's sandals. "Oh my God! I love your sandals! And your toes! Great color!"

Then the two of them spun into a long, exclusive conversation about their nails, hair, feet, hands, and skin. Mack and I, it seemed, were forgotten about. Having that in common, I turned to this guy who had apparently dated the very girl I was dating. It was a little awkward, but I thought it would be smart to be personable.

"Mack, what do you do?" I asked him, thinking it a harmless question.

He replied, with a straight face and rapidly clenching fists, "I beat the shit out of assholes who date Sharon. You?"

Although Sharon and Dana were gabbing close by, it seemed as though they hadn't heard Mack's words. I stood my ground. "But aren't you with Dana, now?"

He said, for all intents and purposes as if we were alone, "Dana's just a thing. I want Sharon back, and I'll get her. Understand?"

Mack twitched. I said to him, "But I'm dating her, now," then turned to the girls and attempted to join their conversation, however unqualified I was to do so.

In a flash, Mack grabbed Dana away and dragged her towards a nearby tree, where the two of them exchanged some heated words in a whisper. I said to Sharon, "He's trouble. He said he wanted you back."

Sharon shrugged. "That's Mack. He'll get over it."

Dana, who apparently had won the argument, finished saying something that looked withering to Mack, then came over to us and said, "Want to do lunch? Mack said he'd behave."

Mack shoved past Dana, picked Sharon up, over his shoulder, and carried her off, as if he meant to abduct her away for his very own. I went after them, but Sharon kicked, flailed, and slapped at him enough so that he put her down. He screamed in her face and stormed away. He turned to us and said, "I'll be back for you... for all of you!" then continued on his defeated walk of fury.

Dana turned to me and said, "That's Mack. I'll let you guys have your lunch." She gave us hugs goodbye and left us, in a different direction than the one in which Mack had gone.

For the rest of the date, I looked over my shoulder every few seconds. Mack didn't return, and Sharon seemed almost to have forgotten that the incident happened. Aside from her saying, "I'm fine. Let's talk about something different," after I asked if she was okay, she didn't mention anything else about it. The rest of the date, that aside, went fine.

Sharon sent me an email a day later, saying that she was going back to dating Mack, and that she wished me luck. No accounting for taste, I guess.


  1. This is why it took me so long to meet someone. Girls love assholes.

    1. Yup, Joshua, and from these stories alone and my actual experience, guys love bitches, so what can we do but hope for the best as nice people? I guess try and have a hopeful attitude, which is what I am trying to do. But anyway...

  2. classic tale of girl loves drama...

  3. Guys, he only treats her that way because he loves her!