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6/24/2012

Brace to the Finish

Story Sent in by Stephen:

Just after sitting down to dinner, Leah asked me if I wanted to go on a sort of "quest." I thought she had a fun and spontaneous idea, so I told her I was game.

After a rushed dinner (on her part — I'd never seen a person engulf a meal so fast), I followed her, by car, to her neighborhood, and we parked outside her house.

I followed her to her front door and she asked, "She needs to think that only one person is home, so when I take a step, you have to take a step, too."

"What? Who?"

"My mother. I'll distract her while you go upstairs to her jewelry box. There's something in there I want. It's a—"

"You want me to steal something from your mother's jewelry box?"

Her eyes went wide. "Not so loud! I have it all planned out. I talk to her in the kitchen, she yells at me as usual, and while she's making a lot of noise, you go upstairs and grab this bracelet. It's a—"

"No way."

"Ugh! Okay, then will you feel better talking to her yourself while I go upstairs to get the bracelet? I'm sure you'll have loads to discuss."

"I'm not helping you steal a bracelet from your mother."

She whined, "But I want it! This is the best plan I thought of to get it. She watches me like a hawk inside the house. She always calls for me when she can't see me, just so she can know where I am."

I blew some air out of my cheeks. "Any idea why she behaves like that?"

Leah replied, "Probably because I stole three of her rings a few months ago."

I shook my head at her. "I'm not helping. Sorry."

"You're a pussy," she said, entering the house, "I don't need you. I want that bracelet, and I'll have it."

She went into her house but left the door open behind her, as if I was going to change my mind and help her, after all. I didn't. I left and never spoke to her again.

3 comments:

Well that's just great. You totally called her on her BS and vanished from her life forever, and she'll never drag you down to her level. What kind of bad date story is that?

If you're on a date and you feel the need to escape, it's a bad date. If you're asked to steal from your date's mother, it's an hysterically bad date.

Yeah, I'd have leaned into the house and yelled out to her mother that her daughter was going to try and steal. Bad people deserve to be foiled.

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