2/14/2012

Be Cautious When Your Date's in Heat

Story Sent in by Mel:

Adina and I had enjoyed a pleasant, first-date lunch and were taking a walk through a suburban neighborhood when we passed a fenced-in yard. A German Shepherd sat on the porch and watched us as we strolled by.

"Aww!" Adina cooed, "Who's a good dog? Who's a good dog? Aww."

The dog watched us but didn't move. Adina went on, "Here, boy! Here, boy! Come on! Come here!"

The dog (boy or girl, I wasn't sure) watched on, blinking. It otherwise didn't move.

Adina sighed, then rapped on the fence. "Come on, boy. Let's go. Mama doesn't have all day. Come on. Come here."

I cut in, "Maybe he's comfortable up there, in the shade."

Adina ignored me and walked into the yard through a gate. She strode toward the dog and said, "Here boy, here boy, here–"

The dog was on its feet and bolted for Adina. Adina screamed and ran back for the fence. I helped her over it as the dog snapped at her, missing her, likely, by inches.

Adina screamed expletives, pounded on the fence, and threw a nearby rock at the dog (and missed). She turned to me and shouted, "Well?"

"Well what?"

"Aren't you going to do something? That animal almost killed me."

"What would you like me to do? Go in there to get killed, myself?"

She said, "Go in there to throttle it, or tell the owners at least."

I replied, "But you were kind of trespassing on their property."

She said, "And that excuses their animal's behavior? If you're too much of a pussy to do it, then I will."

"I don't think you should go back in there. Really."

The dog had been prowling close by the fence and didn't take its eyes off of us. I seriously thought that all parties involved, dog included, would be much happier if Adina and I just went on our way.

Adina, however, didn't see it that way, and she yelled at the dog again. "Get away! I'm coming in."

She entered the gate, and the dog ran at her again. Adina screamed, backed through the gate, fell backward, and I had to be the one to close the gate before the dog could make it to her.

Adina scrambled to her feet, screamed at the dog, and then ran down the road at a pace that told me that she didn't really want to be followed.

All I could do was turn to the barking dog, say, "Sorry about that," and walk on.

11 comments:

  1. A REAL MAN would have went in there and throttled the innocent dog! What's wrong with you, OP?!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well done! It's good to see my canine brethren finally get the respect they deserve. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sometimes dogs are more human than we are.

    ReplyDelete
  4. 'I replied, "But you were kind of trespassing on their property."

    She said, "And that excuses their animal's behavior?"'

    Has she ever heard of such a thing as a guard dog? Yes, trespassing excuses it's behavior, it was doing it's job, and doing it very well I might add. Good dog!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think "Adina" is Greek for "Idiot".

    ReplyDelete
  6. Am I the only one who thinks he should have held the gate shut the 2nd time just to help Adiot prove her point, whatever it was?

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm actually glad this turned out as it did - I can imagine some dumbass jury / court ordering the dog destroyed, the homeowners fleeced and Adina compensated just because the dog was being a dog.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Who is the OP to interfere with natural selection? I smell a potential candidate for a Darwin award.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Would be fun to see it happen. "Bitch fight turns gruesome - Human bitch gets face bitten off"

    ReplyDelete
  10. Why leave your date, jump a fence and trespass someone's house just to play with their "guard dog"? Stupid I wish he had bitten her face out.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Does anyone else get the feeling that if the dog hadn't gone into guard-the-property mode that the date would have attempted to steal it?

    ReplyDelete

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.