9/09/2011

Kollege

Emails Sent in by Jeff:

Hi! I'm a guy who likes reading, writing, math, and studying for no reason! I like going to museums and looking at paintings that old white dead guys made. I go to orchestras and listen to them for hours! I'm high culture! I went to college! I slept with the presidents! I know everything!

Oops. I was writing an email based on how you would write one. I didn't go to college smart boy, but I know a superior-sounding jerkoff when I see one. No woman is going to want some smug superior jerkoff like you Mr. I've been to college and I know things. No one cares that you went to college and no woman sleeps with a guy because he went to college in a building by the oceans. I can walk on a college and now what the hell I went to college too. I've visited a hundred more colleges so I've been to more college than you have and so maybe I'm even smarter in the world. Superior asshole with no women is you.

I'm the superior one because I have more luck than any superior college boy. I've been to hundreds of colleges and it's fifty degrees out so maybe I can say I have more degrees than you. Fifty degrees and hundreds of colleges I've been to beat that college superior boy man.

Frank


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Jeff Responds:

Wow. You're an idiot.

Jeff

4 comments:

  1. After a few more emails, Jeff and Frank fell in love and they've lived happily together ever since.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Aww. I love happy endings.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Frank wanted to get Jeff's attention because he was falling deeply in love with him, but he was homophobic enough to feel uncomfortable sending a romantic letter to another man, and inside tried the "Hey bro, I'll bust on you to establish male dominance" approach. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Another case of the ehhhhh, never mind, this is unprecedented

    ReplyDelete

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