What to Don't

Story Sent in by Amber:

I was out to dinner with Christopher when he went to the restaurant bathroom. He texted me while he was in there to say, "Tell Harriet I said hi. She's one of the waitresses."

The waitstaff in that restaurant didn't wear name tags. I figured Christopher would tell her hi himself once he was out of the bathroom.

He texted me again about two minutes later: "Did you do it?"

I wrote back, "Just come on out."

He replied, "Did you say hi to Harriet?"

I wrote back, "Why don't you introduce her to me when you come back?"

He texted, "NO ONE TELLS ME WHAT TO DO. TELL HER I SAID HI OR I WON'T COME BACK."

I said, "Okay. So don't come back."

He came back and asked, "What's your problem?"

I shrugged. "No one tells me what to do, either. Now which one is Harriet?"

He scanned around and said, "Don't see her. Guess she's not on, tonight."

Dinner was hasty and silent. We parted afterward and I hoped to never hear from him again. However, he texted me later that night: "Re:Harriet: I slept w/her. She made great face."

No idea what he meant. And no cares, either.