8/17/2016

Well-Poised

Story Sent in by Chris:

I had offered to cook for Ellen and she invited me to her apartment. Before I showed up I asked her if I could bring anything over to drink. She said she had it covered.

When I arrived and started to cook she asked me if I wanted a drink. I asked her what she had and she said, "Water."

"Anything stronger?" I asked. I had expected something like wine, etc. I did ask her if I could pick anything up and I would've been more than willing to.

She said, "Just water. Is water not good enough for you?"

Just because I was confused (and not at all confrontational) I said, "I though you said you had drinks covered. I mean, water's fine, but..."

She then grabbed a glass, filled with with water, reached under her sink, grabbed a can of Raid, sprayed it in the water, and handed it to me. She asked, "Strong enough for you?" without a hint of humor.

Realizing that anyone who offered me poison wouldn't be a good long-term match, I left mere moments later.

21 comments:

  1. Raid-Kills bugs dead....as well as bad dates.

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  2. Ellen may have thought you were a slezeball for wanting to get her drunk early on at her place. She may have had her guard up thinking you wanted to lower her inhibitions to get laid. She was trying to hint politely by declining your offer. I think when you came off insistent on having wine (you claim your tone lacked a confrontational edge) but sometimes our body language can give off when we are annoyed as you seemed about not having a drink. my guess is she sensed you were going to make a big deal of it and did it to either end the date or shut you up. I am not condoning her actions. This is just what my assumption is when I interpret the date.

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    Replies
    1. Poison in a glass is too far regardless. It may very well be that OP came off more insistent than he thought, but wine is a typical drink for a dinner date. If she was in charge of drinks and didn't want to have alcohol, sparkling juice or even just soda would have sufficed. For her to get nothing seems like she intended to be confrontational from the start.

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    2. Bananas, when I come over your house, there is no need for sparkling juice. The sparkles in your eyes are more than sufficient... <3

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    3. Also, what's wrong with just saying "I prefer not to have alcohol on a first date. That okay with you?" But what did she do? Went straight to poison in a glass.

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    4. Strictly speaking, alcohol IS poison, so it's basically the same thing.

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    5. Somehow I knew that was coming.

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    6. As Architect said. Politely saying she would rather not drink alcohol would show a certain level of maturity (and if the guy kicks off, he is the bad date). Just giving water without much a word seems confrontational from the start. The kind of think you'd do if your marriage to an irresponsible alcoholic was falling apart and you were filled with a full ten years of resentment and bitterness... Then the raid gets us in loony territory.

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    7. The woman's actions on the date and your take is over the top. She invited a first date to her home, she wasn't very concerned about her safety. An adult wanted a beverage in a social setting, not out of line. Her response was insane. Crazy showed up and you blame the innocent bystander. Raid kills dates, dead.

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  3. clearly she was all out of chloroform

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  4. On the bright side, she was decent enough to poison his drink in front of him.
    Gotta love a girl who is open and honest about her poisons!

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    Replies
    1. You know some guys just can't hold their arsonic...

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    2. "Chicago" reference for the win!

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  5. I'm voting for "looking to pick a fight over drinks"

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  6. I would have drank it. Out of spite.

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    Replies
    1. I read that as "out of Sprite." I thought, "Boy, he must really love Sprite if he'd kill himself if he ran out." Then I realized I am an idiot. :)

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    2. Spite tastes like lemon-lime raid anyway. It sucks so bad.

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  7. I think they were both in the wrong. If you are having guests for dinner, I think it is rude to only offer them water. Not everyone likes water. What she should have done, if she did not want to provide drinks, is tell him to bring "Whatever you want to drink."

    What he should have done was either keep his mouth shut and accept the water, or he could have politely said, "I don't really feel like water. Would you mind if I ran to the store to buy some [insert name of beverage]?"

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    Replies
    1. What kind of mutant doesn't like water? You kind of need it to live.

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  8. I think they were both in the wrong. If you are having guests for dinner, I think it is rude to only offer them water. Not everyone likes water. What she should have done, if she did not want to provide drinks, is tell him to bring "Whatever you want to drink."

    What he should have done was either keep his mouth shut and accept the water, or he could have politely said, "I don't really feel like water. Would you mind if I ran to the store to buy some [insert name of beverage]?"

    ReplyDelete

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