6/15/2016

'Ol Poop Eyes

Story Sent in by Gloria:

Despite that I was right in front of Jeffery, he asked me more than once what color my eyes were. I thought it was obvious in my profile photos (and again because I was right in front of him). My eyes are brown. He seemed really disappointed in that and I asked him why.

He said, "I only want beautiful blue-eyed children. Odds are you won't make any."

When I pointed out that he had brown eyes himself, he said, "The odds of having beautiful blue-eyed children go up if my mate is also blue-eyed. I'm sorry but this won't work."

We had emailed each other for a couple of weeks. He had full access to my profile photos. He hadn't once asked me about my eye color in any of that time. So I reminded him of all that.

His response? "I had forgotten how important having beautiful blue-eyed children was, to me. I don't want poop-eyed kids. Sorry."

He walked away. And so our date ended before it ever really began.

16 comments:

  1. Insert joke about being full of shit

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  2. This guy is obviously not a Van Morrison fan.

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    Replies
    1. Interestingly enough, the story was sent in by someone named Gloria, which is also the name of a Van Morrison song. THE PLOT THICKENS!

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  3. Bananas has brown eyes, which is why I comment pull out - she's not worthy of procreating with and diluting my beautiful blue eyes...

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    1. hazel, HAZEL, Steve. This is why I comment cheat on you with Archy. You never pay attention!

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    2. I fapp'd it to the picture of you in front of the clocks enough to know brown eyes when I see 'em!

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    3. Yeah Steve, 'cause that's all I look at. Her eyes! Her round, full, ample... eyes...

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    4. It's impossible for to look in her eyes during secksy time, as they are not located on her back!

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  4. I'd be curious to meet the person who does want poop-eyed kids.

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    Replies
    1. I'm a fan of the brown eyes myself. It comes standard on my favorite kind of girl (Asian), my wife, and subsequently my daughter. So yeah, go poop-eyes!

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    2. I thought you liked bewbs? Sounds counterproductive...

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    3. poop-type, grass-type, water-type, why we gotta hate? we don't always get to choose our starters so love what you have! unless it's bulbasaur.



      What were we talking about?

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  5. why has no one pointed out that he appears to be in denial about his OWN poop-eyedness? that seems like the more crucial element here.

    or perhaps it's not denial, and the OP just couldn't tell what color her date's eyes were because he has heterochromia iridis like kiefer sutherland? and if he's actually kiefer, he'd probably make some handsome babies, poop eyes or not.

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  6. Days since misplaced unnecessary comma: 0

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  7. Days since misplaced unnecessary comma: 0

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  8. Either this guy is a shallow whacko
    Or he just wasn't that into you and tried to get you to end the date because he lacked courage.

    ReplyDelete

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