10/21/2014

Carbonational Security

Story Sent in by Robert:

Before we went out together, April and I had the now-standard conversation about vegetarianism, food allergies, and whatnot. She was a vegetarian who never drank soda. I'm a vegetarian who likes soda now and again. I'm glad we established that.

On our date, we went to a funky cafe. She ordered a lemonade. I ordered a blueberry soda. After the waitress left, April said, "Why would you order a soda? I told you I don't like soda."

I said, "I remember. You don't have to drink it. I ordered it for myself."

"But why would you order it? After everything we've been through?"

All that she and I had been through was about 10 minutes of small talk. She then said, "If I knew this place even served soda, I would've insisted on somewhere else. In fact," she stood up and gathered her things, "I'm going to find a place that doesn't have soda. You're welcome to join me."

I remained sitting where I was. She asked, "Will you not join me? Us? Together?"

I said, "I really like the soda here. It's organic."

She sat down and leaned in. She said, "We have to make plans to leave here, you and I. But before the soda gets here. Once it comes, it'll be too late. Are we together on this?"

"Uh... no."

She looked disappointed. She stood up, said, "Pity. You were my last hope," and left the place.

A few moments later, our drinks arrived. I told the waitress I could use another minute to decide on a meal. Soon after, April returned. She approached the table, then stopped short. I assume she saw the soda on the table. She gave me a hurt look, then left forever.

On the bright side, I drank down some of my soda, added some of her untouched lemonade, and made lemonade blueberry soda. And it was good. So at least I had that.

*

Ho ho ho. Who's that in my chimney?


1 comment:

  1. Op, how could you turn her down when she stared into your soul with those big beautiful eyes?

    ReplyDelete

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.