6/05/2013

Enter the Fist

Story Sent in by Lorenzo:

Michelle and I spoke online for a little while before I invited her out to an amusement park for what I thought would be a fun afternoon. Everything seemed all right, but then she called to cancel an hour before. She claimed it was a "family emergency," but I could tell that something was up. Still, I let it go for the moment.

After a few days of not hearing from her, I sent her an email to ask if everything was okay. She wrote back that she had looked me up online and seen that I was a martial artist, which is true. She said that had freaked her out because apparently, there was a chance I'd use my martial arts against her.

I replied back, "They're for self defense. That said, were you planning to give me a reason to use them?"

No response to that, so I forgot all about her.

Not long afterward, a Facebook friend request arrived from her, which was unexpected. Before accepting it, I wrote her to ask if she really wanted to friend me: "I have several photos posted of myself practicing taekwondo. Will you be okay with that?"

She wrote back: "Guess not."

And so that was the end of things, or so I thought. A few hours later, she wrote back: "Send a sample picture. Nonviolent please."

I sent her one of myself at the karate studio, delivering a punch to another student's gut while screaming. It was a terrific photo, and I even captioned it, "YAAAAAAAAAAA!" but I guess she didn't approve because I didn't hear anything more from her.

43 comments:

  1. I got the vibe that she might have been physically hurt in the past.

    I may be way off here, but as silly as it may be to feel threatened by karate, if she had been abused before, replying, "Were you planning to give me a reason to use them?" might have come off as, "I would totally hit a woman."

    What I'm trying to say is she had every reason to be afraid if the Chunky Horse technique.

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  2. Chunky Horse has found a new disciple.

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  3. I suspected also she had been abused in the past or had some reason to fear that she would be injured. At the same time, however, if that's the case, she needs to seek therapy or overcome that fear prior to dating anyone. And most men who hit women are just punk (bad word). Martial arts is not only about the physical, but mental discipline and honor as well.

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  4. Yeah, the "That said, were you planning to give me a reason to use them?" comment kind of gave me a creepy vibe too. Did he think she was going to show up in a black ninja suite with five of her friends who would all attack him one at a time while the others danced around in a threatening manner?

    Did anyone else get the MartialArtsMart.com ad at the bottom of this story? Just awesome. I am totally clicking on that.

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  5. @ Architect - I keep getting ads for Midtown Gynecology (midtowngyn.com). I am not even kidding here :)

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  6. "Abused in the past" vibe?? Heads up, honey - you don't need to know martial arts to know how to abuse a person.

    Agree that OP's "reason to use them" comment was pretty creepy, but loved that he sent a super violent photo to her.

    Comment on Ads: mine are usually for dating foreign or older women. No idea why, being a youngish woman reading this at work...

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  7. "Abused in the past" vibe?? Heads up, honey - you don't need to know martial arts to know how to abuse a person.

    Thank you for pointing that out to me, I guess that wasn't obvious considering I spent all day yesterday working on a family abuse prosecution docket, but hey, what do I know?

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  8. If anything, martial arts teaches discipline and to NOT use violence unless it is absolutely necessary...like, if she just didn't listen to him.

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  9. I wasn't pointing it out to you KatieGirl, jeez.

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  10. I'm really glad you apologized, SCG. All things are only about KatieGirl unless explicitly notated.

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  11. OP is a funny guy. That was an appropriate response to ridiculous behavior.

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  12. Huh I didn't noticed that comment as something of note until I read the comments here. Let alone as creepy! Now I am not sure anymore.

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  13. I still think sending that picture was a funny response.

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  14. This story is now complete, as KatieGirl both took offense to something that was not directed at her, AND worked in a reference to her law studies.

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  15. KatieGirl doesn't appreciate it when other people intrude on her territory of pointing out the obvious. There can be only one pointer-outer of the obvious.

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  16. @Steve - The story isn't complete until she mentions her boyfriend and how lucky she is to have found said boyfriend.

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  17. OK, KatieGirl, I give up.....what do YOU think is the (clearly unfounded) reason you rub so many people the wrong way?

    I don't know about you, but if enough people call me an asshole then I start buying toilet paper in bulk. Or, you know, not reflexively think it's THEIR problem and not mine.

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  18. Small City Girl,

    I am sorry. I had no right to say anything like that. I have a ton of things to do, but that does not justify taking something out of context. I offer up my sincere apologies.

    As for everyone else, I come hear to read the dates, outside of that, no malice or harm, I just offer up a comment when I have time/feel the need. Cheers and enjoy your day!

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  19. I come here to read dates, whether or not I rub you the wrong way isn't my problem. This is the internet, not high school. Besides comments about chunky horse or whatever random stuff you put out there, I don't know you. So in the end, why does anyone's opinion mean anything here?

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  20. In my honest opinion, I think people who read this, comment on it, etc. etc. are people who have had bad luck dating. It sucks no doubt, lots of random weirdos in the world. I know I found it when I was just starting out with said person because I sure as whatever didn't want to date anyone, and that just reaffirmed it.

    You find someone, and you move on, that's life.

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  21. 'In my honest opinion, I think people who read this, comment on it, etc. etc. are people who have had bad luck dating' - oh jeSUS.

    You are not the only person here in a happy, long-term relationship (or even a marriage!). You're just a gasp-inducing level of self-important.

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  22. Positive karma and vibrations, I wish you all the best!

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  23. Well... this escalated quickly...

    And then Blue Blue's Brick Tamland-esque comment saves the day!

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  24. My cat is a gasp-inducing level of self-important. She is my world and I'm lucky to have found her.

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  25. Lol. architect!
    What's with people apologizing and shit? It was just warming up in here.

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  26. "In my honest opinion, I think people who read this, comment on it, etc. etc. are people who have had bad luck dating."

    My wife and I are celebrating our 15-year anniversary tomorrow. And I read this site daily. See what ASSumptions get you?

    ---Written on my Law-Degree-In-Training Tablet

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  27. Does this count as mentioning the boyfriend and how lucky someone would be to have him? If so, well played nomatophobia.

    I'm married and I've also spawned!

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  28. I have read this site daily for over a year. I am usually a silent observer. I watch comments escalate and chuckle to myself. I think it's amusing when someone tends to think of themselves as morally superior when in actual fact they thrive off trolling sites to make themselves feel better. Low self worth is a terrible thing .... Watch out Chunky Horse may eat you in your sleep...

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  29. The architects cat is about one fifth of my sex life and I'm lucky to have found her.

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  30. I have a black belt in pie eating which has terrified many of my dates so naturally I feel overqualified to comment on this matter. So, am I the only one here that wants to get naked and ride KatieGirl like she's an ostrich?

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  31. How do I love the TryN2Fly? Let me count the ways. I must admit, I definitely have a completely pathetic "love" life, and this site makes me feel better. I think it mostly makes me feel better because of the dates that I've had, none of them would come close to the caliber on this site.

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  32. Finally someone else who enjoys the same mode of transport as myself, thank you tanette13. Here are a few family friendly images of KatieGirl & myself that I prepared earlier, enjoy.
    https://www.google.com.au/search?q=spider+man+riding+an+ostrich&client=safari&hl=en&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=tPCvUdP1JvGTiQeHuIHgAw&ved=0CC0QsAQ&biw=320&bih=504

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  33. I've actually seen ostriches mating. It involves a whole lot of feathers and flapping. Not quite as erotic as when Fizziks starts "flapping" but close ... very close.

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  34. Omg did you hear that? my comment is a superhero!!!!! awesomeness

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  35. Of course. But in this case, reading "I am a martial artist" on a dating profile probably triggered something specific for her. Maybe.

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  36. Wow, thought these comments were threaded. Didn't they used to be?

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  37. Wow, this was my most successful troll to date!

    trollololol!

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  38. "Were you planning on giving me a reason to beat you?"

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