10/24/2012

Ballooney Tunes

Story Sent in by Helen:

My Cousin Katherine set me up on a date with her acquaintance, Chris. She told me that Chris really liked action movies, sports, cheese, and balloons. Seriously, that was all the information I got. I thought it would be fun to show up on the date with a few helium balloons. I went to a party store and grabbed three: a standard red, pink, and pale blue.

When we met up at a bar, he glanced at the balloons and asked, "Where's the party?"

I said, "Katherine told me you liked balloons. Here you go." I handed them to him.

He stared at them for the longest while, then asked, "Why pink?"

I replied, "I thought it would be festive."

He shook his head. "You thought I was a woman. I'm not."

"I'll take your word for it."

"Oh, I can prove it."

"Please don't."

"Then why'd you bring me a pink balloon? It's like you weren't sure what gender I was, so you bought gender-neutral red, boy blue, and prissy pink."

I replied, "I just bought them because they were festive colors, and because Katherine told me that you liked balloons."

He said, "You think I'm a woman, and I'm sorry, Helen, but I'm no lesbian." So saying, he shouldered past me and walked out of the bar.

I called my cousin the next day and told her that Chris was way too effeminate for me. "Yeah," Katherine said, "I can see that."

9 comments:

  1. Seems both parties are a little off. Who brings balloons to a bar on a first date. and who gets prissy about a pink one.

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  2. This whole story is just...weird. The balloon part, the guy getting way too worked up over a pink balloon, the guy saying he's not a lesbian (huh?). The whole thing is just all kinds of odd.

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  3. He wanted to bail on the blind date when he saw her, so...

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  4. The balloons were weird but I actually thought it was also kind of cute. Also extremely harmless. The guy was over the top rude and it was good it ended before it began. Saved her a lot of wasted time.

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  5. Yeah, and that whole clown costume really freaks people out too.

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  6. I think the balloons were a terrible idea. Let's assume her date actually graciously accepted them, and they had drinks. People are going to be staring at him and asking him, "Is it your birthday? What's up with the balloons?" It puts him on the spot.

    But getting wound up over one being pink? That's rude and witless. Both of them suck at dating.

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  7. the Drunken Housewife:I think the balloons were a terrible idea. Let's assume her date actually graciously accepted them, and they had drinks. People are going to be staring at him and asking him, "Is it your birthday? What's up with the balloons?" It puts him on the spot.

    Yes you said it right.

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  8. Maybe you would've had better luck with a guy from a top dating site than with that dude.

    ReplyDelete

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