5/31/2012

Acting Out

Story Sent in by Julius:

Gwen and I were in a play together and flirted like crazy. One night, a week before the curtain was to go up, I invited her back to my place, and she said she'd bring the wine.

She and I drove to my apartment separately, and we went upstairs. Not long after I had uncorked the bottle and handed her a glass, my buzzer rang. I wasn't expecting anyone else, and I hit the intercom.

The voice on the other end said, "This is Chris. Let me up. "

I couldn't recall knowing a Chris, and especially a Chris who I'd invite over while I was romancing. I asked, "What's this about, Chris?"

He replied, "Is Gwen there?"

I turned to Gwen. She looked at me as if hearing the conversation for the first time. She said, "It's okay. You can let him in. He's with me. "

"Who is he?"

"He's with me."

"Right. Friend, boyfriend, brother, chaperone—?"

"He's my… friend. It's cool. You'll like him. "

I buzzed him in. Gwen explained, "On the way over, I texted him to come over. Hope that's okay. "

When I opened my apartment door for Chris, he breezed right past me and gave Gwen a hug. Then he acknowledged me enough to ask, "Have any beer?"

I did, but I put my hand out to him, in greeting. "Hi Chris. I'm Julius."

He looked at my hand, then squeezed next to Gwen on the armchair that was really only designed for one person. He put his hand on her thigh and asked her, "How are you, baby?"

At that point, I decided to remain polite but make it an early night. I brought Chris his beer, and then I said to both of them, "So, I need to make it to bed early tonight. You guys cool with heading out in 20?"

Gwen frowned at me and asked, "So soon? Is it because I invited Chris?"

Chris took some level of offense to that, and he stood up and said to me, "Me being here shouldn't be a problem." He then stumbled back onto the armchair and muttered something that sounded like, "I should just pee on your floor."

I replied to Gwen, "I'm sorry. I just forgot that I need to be up early. And you know what? Yeah. I don't recall inviting Chris. I thought this would be just you and I."

Chris stood up, slammed his beer on my coffee table, and pounded toward the door. He then spun around, grabbed his beer, and then returned to his angry exit. Gwen stayed put. Chris turned to her and said, "Come on, baby. Let's blow."

A strange smile then appeared on Gwen's face. She said, "This is a fun situation. Two guys who want me. Decisions, decisions..."

I cut her off. "Do you want to stay and hang out or not?"

She gave me a sour look, then said, "Well, you have to be up early, so..." She stood and walked to join Chris at the door, then asked me, "Can I have a beer for the road, sweet thing?"

I replied, "No. Good night." I wasn't into these weird games she was playing, and I just wanted her and her loser friend gone. They left, and I went to bed a little while later with no regrets.

Gwen and I didn't talk much during rehearsals after that, although somehow or other, a rumor was started that she tried to sleep with me but that I couldn't get it up. When confronted with these rumors, I responded that Gwen must have confused me with her special buddy, Chris.

8 comments:

  1. Why on earth would you have let him up? I can't imagine a single scenario where that could have ended well.

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    Replies
    1. OP must have put out some serious "puppy dog" signals for Gwen to have gotten crazy ideas.

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  2. Glad you got that out of the way. What a twat!

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  3. Yeah, I don't know why he buzzed that guy in, but seems like he fixed that situation pretty quickly, kudos.

    What's with all the stories on here about uninvited guests coming over and asking for a beer or whatever, and the OP goes and gets it? I have no problem sharing with friends, but if someone showed up unexpectedly and uninvited and asked for a beer and was rude about it, why can't anyone ever say "Yeah, I got some, why, what did you bring?"

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  4. And OP gave them 20 minutes to clear out. Was he cast as the Doormat in the play?

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  5. OP should have just said 'Beat it, Chris, I don't let douches hang out at my place'.

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  6. OP was a little bit of a doormat but at least he handled it well enough to get rid of them and stop the games she was playing pretty quickly.

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  7. OP seemed slightly like a doormat, but I think he was just being polite and giving them the benefit of the doubt. Once he realized some sort of weird game was going on, he gave them the brush-off pretty quickly.

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