9/21/2011

Long Story Short

Email Sent in by Mary:

Don't know if you remember me. We went to college together, you dated Steve, a guy I knew, long story short, there was some drama, fingers pointed, I was even drawn into the mess because a friend of mine was best friends with the guy you were seeing. He said you were cheating on him but even if you were we knew that he cheated on your first, on two separate occasions:

1. At Tammy's party: there was a blonde there from Gonzaga. She was actually dating one of Tammy's friends but she got really drunk that night and ended up knobbin it with Hector (remember him?) and Dave. I really wanted her to do it with me but I am a moral man and will not take an attached woman even if I am single (which surprisingly I was at the time).

2. At the end of semester junior year he took a girl up to his off campus apartment. I don't know if they did it or not but Ralph saw them holding hands and him leading her in. You figure the rest out Sherlock.

I guess what I want to know is this:

1. Did you ever cheat on Steve? That will help me make a decision on this.

2. Did you ever find me attractive? We spoke once for over and hour about starting our own gardens and growing our own food. Did you ever end up doing that? I'd love to try some of your vegetables. It's not a conversation I think you'd forget since I haven't.

3. Would you want to visit the botanic gardens with me sometime? We can leave the horrible dramas of the past behind and start afresh. I'm sorry if this brought up painful memories for you but I had to extend myself out and see if I could help to heal you.

Charles


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(Mary says: "I graduated college over ten years ago. He likely knew me, but I have no recollection of him.")

7 comments:

  1. Charles, let me fix your typo: "even if I am single (which UNsurprisingly I was at the time)."

    There, now your letter makes sense!

    ReplyDelete
  2. so did the op date Steve or not?

    ReplyDelete
  3. ^ I assume so since the OP said "He likely knew me" rather than "None of the stuff he wrote about happened".

    I'd like to know if she ever responded to him.

    ReplyDelete
  4. "Did you ever find me attractive?"

    No.

    ReplyDelete
  5. "I want to help heal you...With my penis!"

    ReplyDelete
  6. ^ Well, he DID say he wanted to "extend himself out."

    ReplyDelete
  7. My new favorite euphemism:

    "I'd love to try some of your vegetables."

    ReplyDelete

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