Fight at the Museum

Story Sent in by Elinore:

Harvey took me to a museum for our first date. It had a children's section that I remembered visiting when I was younger. When Harvey asked me if I wanted to walk through it, I told him that I did, if only for memories' sake.

Harvey had a small black shoulder bag with him. Too small to fit a laptop, it resembled a purse, but I wasn't going to mention anything about it. I didn't want to judge, and maybe it was filled with something important.

I soon found out. As he and I walked through the children's section, he pulled me into a deserted room labeled "Screening room."

There was a big screen and a video projector inside with benches in rows. The museum used the room, likely, to show educational films that were somehow pertinent to their exhibits.

On one end of the room, there was a locked cabinet. He carried his bag over to it and knelt before it. I followed him over to see what he was doing. He opened the bag and three DVD cases were inside. They were all educational documentaries: The Great Prides of Africa, Secrets of the Swamp, and whatever the third one was. At first, I thought he was going to leave them there as a sort of donation.

"Ready for this?" he said, then opened one of the cases to reveal what was very obviously a pornography disc. "They're all porn!" he said, and put the cases all down on top of the cabinet.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

He explained, "This is funny. Revenge."

I replied, "What? We're going to get in trouble."

He said, "This museum has always treated me like crap. Today I get them back. Part one of payback, anyway."

He giggled and pulled me out of the room. "Come on!" he said.

I collected the DVDs in carried them out with me. He said, "What are you doing? You'll ruin it! The point is to leave them there, so that when they put one in, it'll be porn!"

I replied, "I understand what you're doing. I just am not going to let you do it. It's the kids that are going to suffer."

"Then they shouldn't be at this museum! It serves them right!" He grabbed the discs from me, slammed them on top of the cabinet, and waved me towards the door. "Come on!"

I followed him out and didn't say anything more about it. Once we were about to leave the museum, I told him that I had to use the bathroom. Instead, I returned to the children's hall, went into the screening room, removed the DVDs, which were still on top of the cabinet, exited the room with them, and threw them in the first trash that I could find.

Granted, I was pretty sure that the person putting the DVDs into a player would see that they were porn, but I just didn't feel right leaving the museum with them there.

I returned to Harvey, and he said, "Let's get out of here, fast!"

I followed him out to the parking lot. He led me to his car and said to me, "We're just like secret agents. Kiss me."

He went in for a kiss, and I backed away. "Eww, no!"

He stared at me, mumbled something I couldn't hear, jumped into his car, and took off. I'm not sure why he took me with him on his trip of museum vengeance, but I'm glad that I was there to stop him.


  1. Which museum? And what could museum staff do to him that would warrant such a stupid act of "revenge"?

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. I would have told the staff at the museum so that they watch out for him. I'm sorry but kids were involved and that is where I draw the line. You want to fuck with adults whatever but kids that's messed up.

  4. Probably what Gnome said, but I'd take it a step further and say he kept touching the exhibit and they threw him out. He seems like the type of asshole who would do that.

  5. I don't get this one at all. A restaurant could have rude waitstaff and slow service. A store could have a draconian return policy or refuse to honour their coupons and such. But what could a museum do to draw such ire from this dude? Whatever it is I think it's a lot deeper than not touching the exhibits. I guess we'll never know.


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